Joyce heard a moan at the front door. Ignoring every warning Buffy had tried to instill in her, she raced outside. The words she had hatefully thrown at her daughter ringing in her mind. She almost tripped over the beaten, naked body that lay on the front porch. A scream worked its way up her throat, but she fought to keep it down as she bent down to see the face beneath the mop of brown hair. She hated herself for the tremendous relief she felt that the hair wasn't a sun-kissed blonde. Brushing the hair away with gentle strokes, she couldn't keep a gasp from escaping when she recognized Faith's beaten and bruised face.
"Oh, Faith, what have those animals done to you?" she whispered heatedly.
Joyce bent down, slipping her arms underneath the fallen Slayer's shoulders, then up and around her neck in a parody of a sleeper hold. She pushed off with her legs to stand up with the unconscious girl securely held against her body, and started the arduous task of pulling her back through the doorway and into the house. It took her a good thirty minutes or more. Joyce had to stop and take breaks before starting again, but she finally had Faith situated on the sofa.
She stood back to take in the girl's injuries. There wasn't an inch of her body that wasn't bruised, cut or bitten. Joyce shuddered, imagining her own daughter lying here in the same condition. Tears gathered in her eyes as she realized what she had done. The things she had said to her daughter in a haze of drunken resentment and impotence; she had slung the most hate-filled words at Buffy, and sent her away from her home. Now, Buffy was out there somewhere in a world filled with vampires. Once she had sobered up, Joyce finally admitted the truth. She only hoped that Buffy would come back to her unharmed, as she glanced at Faith's broken body, so that she could tell her how sorry she was.
Buffy wanted to put everything she had into her training, not only for herself, but also for Master Chi. She felt confident that the Hellmouth had prepared her for the kyu training, and that she would quickly advance on to the dans. She was wrong. The graceful, seemingly simple steps the forms called for took more strength and balance than they appeared to. It was a frustrated and exhausted former Slayer who returned to her room each night.
Her demeanor grew quieter with each passing lesson. The only time a glimpse of her inner fire peeked out was when they started learning the art of Sha Da Kon. The pert teenager and sassy Slayer had vanished, replaced by a warrior. Though this term applied to every acolyte, it resonated in the deceptively small frame of the former Slayer. Her Slayer-spirit had pushed for their survival, an instinctual reaction much like every other action that had pulled the young woman along, kicking and screaming, for the last two years. When Buffy allowed the Slayer to guide her with the decision to join the Shadow Warriors, a new creature started to emerge from the shattered soul. The Slayer took control, pushing the body as the newborn gave its first mewling cry. It laid dormant, eating, resting and learning its new world. The Slayer protected Buffy who preserved it, until she chose otherwise. Whatever part of the Slayer Essence that returned to Buffy after her death at the Master's hands truly became hers. It awaited her command, sometimes understanding what she wanted and needed before she did. This became readily apparent to the newly awakening 'Buffy' and the ever observant teachers overseeing her introduction into the strange world of Shadow. She felt an inner stirring, a subtle calling of like to like when the Sha Do Kan lessons started.
Master Gensai led them outside after their morning meal. She didn't point toward the mountain path; instead, she went over and sat beneath a large tree. The students dutifully followed, never questioning the change in routine. They sat when the Master pointed at the silver-green grass, waiting for further instructions. They waited and waited and waited some more. A full stomach and the unaccustomed stillness had several students fighting to stay awake.
Buffy sat frozen, watching Master Gensai's every motion, no matter how small. She barely blinked, took the shallowest of breaths possible for fear that she might miss what was happening. Her sensitive eyes quickly adjusted to the shadows the instant she had stepped under the tree's shade. She watched the terse instructor as her body's outline started to fade. It happened slowly, practically one cell at a time. Buffy felt as if she was seeing the other woman's birth in reverse. The fading worked inward, melting with the shadows that surrounded the black clad instructor. A subtle shimmering blurred the lines between light and shadow as Master Gensai's body disappeared.
Several other students gasped, a few understood what had happened, only one smiled with pure joy. The being that had lain dormant while it tried to heal - awakened. It felt the shadows caress it, welcoming it to Shadow. They understood each other, understanding the various shades of grey needed to create a complete person. Buffy understood in that moment of clarity who and what she was.
She closed her eyes, imagining herself once more on that frozen, shattered pond that represented her soul. The Slayer-spirit floated beside her, glowing a deep silver-grey shot through with dark lightning sparks. A small frozen patch sat directly below it. Its milky color gave it a forlorn appearance. She stared at it with a sad smile. Bending down, she reached out with a trembling hand to touch the frozen tundra. It leapt beneath her fingers, sending fissures of warmth through her. Instinctively, Buffy's other hand shot out toward the Slayer-spirit, creating the center-point for their triad. She slipped her fingers into the frozen patch, searching for what she wasn't sure. Then, she felt it as it brushed by her fingers, and she grabbed for it. Using all her strength, Buffy pulled the last remnants of her soul free. When the soul-spark broke through the frozen barrier, it flared pure, bright silver, before it shot straight at Buffy's body. The black lightning sparks crackled within the Slayer-spirit, then it too joined its sister spark on a headlong race for ownership of the body.
Buffy stood back, raising her hands, halting the sparks before they could reach her. She grabbed the air that surrounded them, wrapping it around them. With her query caught in the invisible net, she drew them to her. They acknowledged each part in this new consciousness. It was a start on the long journey toward becoming a complete person.
She opened her eyes to find that the sun was setting. She glanced around for her classmates, but there wasn't another soul in sight. A soft breeze ruffled her hair as the tree's shadow welcomed her back.
Master Gensai stepped forward, unwrapping her body from the darkness. This girl did the unexpected at every turn. She had the Shadow Master doubting her teaching abilities, which took long hours of meditation to erase. The first lesson in Sha Da Kon should leave the students scared, shocked, possibly excited; not open their conscious self in such a radical way. Perhaps there was more to this warrior than even Master Chi had perceived.
"Come warrior, you've tarried in this place long enough," Gensai said, motioning for Buffy to follow her.
Buffy bowed respectfully, following behind the instructor. She resisted the urge to glance back at the tree's shadowy comfort. Her innermost sanctum felt a pull of yearning, so deep she would almost swear that she heard it whispering to her. She excused herself from dinner that night, deciding to return to her room early. This night's meditations should provide many answers. Her small, plain room had become a sanctuary, which had surprised her.
It had never occurred to her that a person needed a place to call their own. No matter how small or where it may reside, each conscious being required an area that others couldn't invade without direct permission. Animals understood this. They fought and protected their territory. She had never stopped to think about it before coming to Shadow.
Her parents had allowed her to have privacy when they lived in LA. Buffy tried to recall a single time after she had become a Slayer that she had any privacy. It seemed that her friends and family wanted to either guide, control or be privy to her every waking action, decision, thought and dream.
It wasn't until coming to Shadow that she realized that sitting here in this small room alone with her thoughts, that they were hers alone. She and she alone was the one responsible for where they led her.
Time moved in waves within each dimension. On Earth, a solar day consisted of 24 hours and 365 such days created a solar year. Time between Shadow and Earth ran much faster, roughly about a ten to one ratio.
Buffy's time on Shadow passed quickly. She had completed the second year of her lessons before she even realized it. She still kept to herself, finding strength in meditation and the consciousness that continued to grow until it fully bonded with her former self's spark and the Slayer-spirit. They had become one, emerging as a spiritually finished soul. No one seemed more surprised by this than Buffy herself.
Her favorite place on Shadow, besides her room, was atop the mountain. She found an affinity with the rock guardian that she didn't have with her fellow acolytes. Buffy didn't know where the others came from, what worlds or dimensions, whether they were human, supernatural or alien before their entrance to Shadow. She sat there communing with the mountain. Her fingers wiggled deep within the warm earth, feeling it wrap around her arms, sending waves of harmony deep into her inner being.
The mountain spoke to her about Shadow during their private talks. It told her about how it had watched Shadow grow from the darkness and the numerous warriors that had trod its trails for millennia. It also told her of its loneliness. The other warriors that extended their awareness from communing with the majestic mount didn't bother to simply talk with it, not for a very long time.
She came to talk with her friend about the graduation ceremony for successfully finishing her kyus. It called for each acolyte to choose a new name, before stepping into the inner sanctum where the dan training would begin. Buffy wanted to keep her name. She felt that she had only recently come to understand who she was and accept herself. Her name, though unusual, was a part of her. She had thought that she needed to leave everything about her past behind her, but she no longer believed that. Buffy knew that she didn't want to forget the small piece that was able to survive; keeping her name allowed her to honor that.
A deep rumble vibrated up through her arms straight into her mind. One must stay true to one's self. A warrior who walks away from its inner truth weakens when faced with an adversary who believes in nothing.
"Thank you, my friend, you always say the right thing." She slowly pulled her hands free, smoothing the ground back into place.
Buffy stood in one boneless motion. Her head tilted back as she deeply inhaled the crisp, clean air. Silver clouds floated overhead in a clear blue-grey sky. She knew that she couldn't put it off any longer and started down the mountain. Her face remained unchanged, hiding her surprise to see Master Chi waiting for her. Buffy bowed her head respectfully when she stopped a few feet from the wizened instructor.
"How is the stone guardian, little warrior?" His obsidian eyes took in the many changes that had occurred since they had last faced each other.
"Stoic," she answered cryptically. Her lips tilted slightly as a she added. "He does tell great stories though."
Master Chi turned without answering, continuing the journey back toward the temple. His hand disappeared into his black robes as he listened to the soft steps beside him. He knew that she was creating the noise just for him. Why, he wasn't sure. This warrior was quite the enigma, even more than he had originally thought. Her training hadn't followed the normal path, veering in subtle, yet powerful and enlightening ways. He wondered what new surprises she would discover during her dan training.
"Have you decided on the name that you will take before entering your dan?"
The silence lay heavy between them. The soft steps stopped, causing the old master to pause. Wise eyes peered deep into shaded green ones. He had witnessed many things during his time as Shadow's Grand Master, but the blazing sureness staring back at him unsettled the ancient.
"Yes, I'm keeping my name." She met his obsidian eyes without flinching, unsure what repercussion might come her way.
Shock fleetingly showed on his face, disappearing as quickly as it came. No acolyte in Shadow's long history had every refused to take a new name. It was a rite of passage, the first real step toward becoming a Shadow Warrior. Everything up to this point was preparation.
"May I ask why?"
Buffy took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "When I came here, I had no hope, but I didn't want to die. My Slayer-spirit pushed me to survive. I thought that everything that made me, me, was gone - shattered. Through my own foolishness, I gave away the pieces of my soul to my friends and family until there wasn't anything left. Here on Shadow, I learned that a part of my soul had survived. Shadow healed what remained of Buffy Summers, but it did so much more. It helped me to join the Slayer-spirit, with the soul-spark along with a consciousness that I never knew existed outside Shadow. Who I am, the complete person you see before you, is what she didn't get a chance to become. Keeping her name honors that."
Master Chi wasn't sure what to say to her earnest argument. "If I allow this, then you must also choose another name, should you require it."
Hope surged through her. Compromise, she could live with that. She quietly contemplated what name best represented her. Thinking over her lessons these past two years, the one that stood out in her mind gave her the answer. "Shuyin."
He nodded as he said, "The tree's shade, a fitting name for a Shadow Warrior. You have voiced a fitting argument for keeping your former name. I will allow this. Should such a time come that your home world should need a Shadow Warrior, Shuyin will perform those duties."
Buffy knew that she had won a major victory and respectfully nodded. She turned quietly matching her footsteps to the Grand Master's. They approached the temple's back entrance where they would go their separate ways. As if by rote, they turned to each other, staring deeply into the other person's eyes. Each found the answer they were looking for as they bowed their heads, turned in opposite directions and quietly walked away.
Angelus growled as he watched another demon crumple to the floor. He never thought that he would tire of torture, but this was getting monotonous. There was only so many decapitations, brandings, breakings and burnings a demon could perform before it became redundant.
He had searched for Buffy everywhere with no success. The longer it took, the more violent he became. Vampires and demons ran when they saw him coming. It did wonders for his reputation, but it didn't help his disposition. He threatened anyone and everyone, telling them that he wanted to know what had happened to the Slayer and he wanted to know now. Unfortunately, his victims couldn't give him what they didn't have.
"Sire, that's the lot of them," Spike said from across the room. He wiped blood from his hands on a towel. "The girl is gone. None of these blokes know where the chit went." The blonde vampire knew that he was taking his unlife in his hands, but he had had enough. For the past two months, he had followed after Angelus as he tore the Hellmouth apart searching for the Slayer. No matter who they threatened, tortured or killed, no one knew anything. Buffy had disappeared, and the sooner that the poof accepted it the better.
Drusilla floated into the room, humming a tune that only she knew the words to. She twirled around with her eyes closed. "Psst, psst, the rats are jumping off the ship. They are scared of the big, bad Daddy Cat - meow." She clawed at Angelus' sleeve with her nails. Leaning forward, she licked his cheek then gave him a whimsical smile. "You won't find your answers with the naughty beasts, my Angel. The Spark's gone and the ones that know aren't here." She kissed his lips and skipped out of the room, humming a different tune.
"She's right," the dark-haired vampire exclaimed. He started pacing the room, creating a picture of graceful, predatory motion in action.
Spike's eyebrow rose as he watched his sire start to plan. He knew that Angelus was at his most volatile during these moments. It was also the most exciting of times. Their best adventures had resulted from similar circumstances. He only hoped that the Prince of Hair Gel didn't end up with another bleeding soul before he was done.
Dru's words played over in his head until he thought he would go mad. If the demons didn't know, then the answers had to lie with her accursed friends. His head jerked up as if someone had slapped him. Of course! He had tortured the wrong people. The Watcher, Giles, was sure to know where his little Slayer had gone. How had he been so stupid? He had left them alone; thinking to curry favor with the Slayer, hoping it would bring her from her hiding place, if a demon didn't have her. He saw that he had wasted precious time that he could have used torturing those meddlesome boobs for answers.