Finding My Serenity by cjsplace

Finding My Serenity ~ 6

Buffy didn't remember the journey back to the ship, thank goodness for the inherent sense of direction built into her Slayer DNA. Images of Mal wrapped around Inara blinded her to anything but the pain tearing at her heart. She had tried so hard not to fall for the charismatic captain, to take only what he gave willingly, knowing that too much stood between them. It didn't help. His stubborn pride, loyalty and surprising moments of tenderness had wormed their way under her defenses. She knew that he had loved Inara, but his words and actions led her to believe they were over.

It didn't matter. It couldn't matter, not now. She had to find a way to bury the hurt, hide it deep until she could pull it out and deal with it. The time wasn't now. Too much was at stake, including everyone's lives if they hoped to get back through the gauntlet, not to mention getting the truth out across the black. Buffy closed her heart, concentrating on emptying her emotions into a deep hidden place. She had to remain strong for River. River was what was important; she was the only thing Buffy had left, the only shining light in the abyss where her emotions lay buried.

Wash tried to catch his childhood friend. He couldn't seem to get the speed needed to catch up to the blonde zenith blazing far ahead of him. The hurt look on her face tore at his heart. He only hoped he could reach her before she banged the door closed, shutting out him and the rest of the world. Shared childhood confidences wouldn't get him through the door the way they would have when he was her hero.

He hated that once again he had to stand by and watch his friend get hurt without being able to stop it. Rushing aboard Serenity, the small blonde he hoped to find was nowhere in sight. He knew that Buffy would seek privacy, and headed for the shuttle. Before his foot touched the steps leading up to the catwalk, loud footsteps echoing behind him alerted Wash to River's presence.

"She's going deep, hiding the hurt, putting it in a deep hole along with all the sparkle. Buffy's not going to shine anymore and its all Mal's fault because he decided to act like a man-whore," River said more to herself than to the shocked pilot.

"What do you mean she won't shine? I know Buffy shuts down if'n she gets hurts, but ventually she comes about." Wash stared at River as if he could force her to take the words back.

More sadness than a girl her age had a right to know crossed the young girl's face. Her slender shoulders slumped as she answered him in a wistful voice, "Buffy's all quiet inside and the Slayer's awake. She's protecting Buffy. She'll only let her come out to help me."

River slipped by Wash to clump up the steps toward the shuttle. Wash watched her go, unsure whether to follow. He slowly started to climb the stairs, determined to see Buffy for himself. If they survived this trip, he was definitely going to shoot Mal. He made it to the shuttle's entrance and found River peering in the doorway. She turned back, motioning for him to be quiet, before waving him forward. He moved to stand beside her, looking inside he saw Buffy sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. Wash wasn't sure what about the blonde's stillness bothered him, but he couldn't shake the feeling that the girl he knew was gone.

"Come in, River, we have a lot to discuss and not a lot of time," Buffy said, never opening her eyes. Her voice held no emotion as she continued building up her defenses.

"Buffy," Wash said.

"Go away, Ducky, there's nothing you or anyone can do. We'll meet you on the bridge when the others return."

River went inside, closing the door in Wash's face. He stood there for several moments staring at the door. "Yep, I'm going to have to start practicin' my shooting. Wonder how impressive Mal'll be with a limp?"

The others slowly drifted back to Serenity, first Mal then the others. They each made their way to the bridge. What they found there was nothing close to what they had expected. Mal stood feet braced apart, arms crossed over his chest and an odd look on his face. Inara shadowed him, standing to his far left with Jayne leaning in the doorway, scratching his head.

Zoë, never one to let a situation keep her imitable personality down for long, cleared her throat. "Someone want to explain what everyone's standing around like humps for?" She strode inside with all the confidence in the world and stopped short. To say that Zoë felt shocked didn't quite cover the emotions that played across her face. There stood her easy-going, normally passive husband, holding a gun on Mal. She wasn't sure what shocked her more, the gun or the hard look in Wash's eye.

"Zoë, you need to be telling your man to aim that gun somewhere else. This is my boat and ain't anyone going to tell me what I can and can't do on my own bridge," Mal growled.

Before she could say a word, Wash interrupted. "May be your boat, but you will capt'n it with a limp if you leave this bridge to go after Buffy."

"No need for bloodshed, Ducky, we're here." Buffy slipped by the others, pulling River along behind her. She walked by Mal without looking in his direction as she headed for the forward windows. Her dark green eyes appeared cold and hard. "Guess we need to talk about where we go from here."

Mal uncrossed his arms, preparing to take a step forward, when the sound of a gun cocking caused him to freeze. "Zoë, tell your man to put that sidearm down afore I get riled."

"Ducky," Buffy said softly, "put it away. Mal isn't going to bother me. We've got more important stuff to discuss. I'm sure he just wants to turn round to talk at the crew."

She leveled a hard glare at Mal, letting him know that she had nothing to say to him. Wash lowered the gun, setting it down without taking his hand off the trigger. He gave Mal a grin that spoke its own warning. Sighing heavily, Mal stepped forward before turning to address his crew at large.

"Now, we know what had the Alliance is in an all-fired hurry to get River back. They buried the truth out here and thought no one would ever know. Then, along come our little albatross who unburies it. Those purple bellies ran scared across the verse chasin' our River, tryin' to get her back under lockdown. They didn't know that she tweren't lone no more; thought they could snatch our little girl the same way they snatch everything they decide they gots right to."

Jayne started fidgeting, shifting his body's weight from foot to foot, much the way a child would that needed to use the restroom. His jaw tensed, and then opened only to snap shut moments later. If the situation weren't so serious, it would be entertaining to watch, but given the circumstances and the man, a blow was sure to occur. Simon moved to stand next to the much larger man. The usual animosity wasn't apparent on the young doctor's face as he placed a calming hand on Jayne's large forearm. Jayne immediately stopped swaying.

"I think I might speak for most of us when I say that we understand how we got here for the most part. The big question is, what do you plan to do about it?"

Mal searched Simon's face before moving onto Jayne's then continuing around to the rest of his crew. Each wore the same expression - anticipation, dread, fear and anger - mixed together to reflect the horrors they found on Miranda.

"We make them eat their words," Buffy said, holding up the disc. "Right, Mal?"

He glanced over his shoulder at Buffy, sending her a grateful smile that she didn't return. Mal reluctantly turned back, knowing that he would have to sort out their misunderstanding later. "I'm planning on taking that there disc back and sending it out across the verse. Mr. Universe said you can't stop the signal, and I'm betting on that fact. Got me a right nifty plan to get us back since I'm sure the (sob) Operative's waitin' for us." He rocked back on his heels as he slid his fingers down his suspenders.

"Cap'n, you do remember the Reavers that we have to get through, don't ya?" Zoë spoke up, interrupting Mal's happy moment.

Buffy stepped forward, with River still at her side. "That's where River comes in, with my help. She can keep the Reavers calm while Serenity flies through."

"Think she could aim 'em at the Alliance once we're close to Mr. Universe?"

She turned to the young girl at her side, pulling her closer. Buffy placed a soft kiss at River's temple. "Yes, but you have to know that it increases the risk to us as well. Reavers don't see us as any different from the Alliance, and by that time, they'll be in a killing frenzy. River won't have any control over them. She'll be too exhausted to do anything, except defend herself. Make sure it's a move you're prepared to take, because there won't be any second chances." Her green eyes darkened until they appeared almost black. They were dull, no longer sparkling with mischief and life.

"Don't see much choice. They'll be waitin' to pick us off otherwise. Won't stand a chance of getting close to Mr. Universe. Ways I see it, we have one shot at this, and River-girl is it."

Buffy turned to Wash. "Ducky, can you wave that goofball from here, or do we need to get closer?"

"Best to be a ways in for a stronger signal. You sure bout them Reavers, Buff?" Worry marred his usually happy face.

"Yep, my bao bei can do it." She winked at River, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"What do we need to do?" Shepherd Book stepped forward.

"Some prayers wouldn't hurt, sides that everyone 'ceptin Ducky has to sit tight. Reavers are sure to follow Serenity same as they'll attack the Alliance. Everyone will have to fight to give Mal and me enough time to send the wave. The Operative is going to try to stop us and I'd like to dance with him a few rounds. Get inside as quick as you can. Mr. Universe is sure to have the best reinforcements money can buy. Don't be heroes. Remember, the first rule of slaying."

River perked up to chirp. "Don't die."

"That's right, River." Buffy caressed her cheek, trying to help prepare the young psychic for the coming battle.

Simon walked over to his sister, with concern showing in ever step. "Mèimei, are you sure about this? You don't have to do this. We can find another way." His blue eyes searched for the scared little girl that always reached out to him for security.

"No, Simon. I have to. It's my power. I control it, no one else can. Buffy will keep me safe." She gave him one of her Madonna-like smiles.

He sighed heavily, realizing she didn't need him to protect her anymore. River wanted his love, not held back from what she felt was her responsibility. He finally understood what Buffy was trying to tell him. Simon raised his eyes to meet the wise green ones that watched him. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours before he nodded and walked back to stand beside Kaylee. She slipped her hand into his, he squeezed it, thankful for the gentle engineer's comfort.

Buffy and River sat facing each other as they had so many times before. They stared into each other's eyes, taking slow, even breathes that matched in a perfect rhythm. Their bond had only strengthened over the past year, allowing them to easily step into mind space.

"River, remember that you have the control. This is your world and no one can hurt you here. I've cleared my mind of everything, except you. If it gets too intense, reach out to me and take comfort, but don't release the power until we're through the gauntlet. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Pull the box you locked the power inside forward." River imagined the steel room with a black box at its center. Heavy chains bound the box, keeping it closed. "Concentrate on the box and slowly remove its locks without opening it." The chains slowly slipped off the box to the floor. They melted into water, before disappearing completely.

Buffy waited until she felt Wash maneuvering Serenity closer to Reaver territory to continue. "Slowly open the lid without letting anything escape. The power needs form so you can spread it over the ships. Cover the ships, and the Reavers inside will obey your command."

The lid slowly opened. River imagined a whiff of smoke rising from the box to journey out into the black. The trailing white thread grew thicker in substance the further it went. It spooled out toward the macabre ships then spread out over them into a large spider web design. Once it covered the entire armada, it fell over the gruesome ship, turning into a ghost white blanket. River gasped as the Reavers' thoughts bombarded her mind. She reached out to Buffy for strength. A cool sense of serenity encompassed her as River felt the love the Slayer held for her. It glowed within Buffy's mind, giving off a golden light that chased away the dark thoughts. A soft sigh released the stress, allowing her to get back to work. The powerful psychic concentrated on the blanket, giving it substance, pouring her thought and will into it. It nestled over the entire Armada. The verse's boogey men had no way to escape as the blanket faded into the hulls, falling on targets that froze in place.

Wash maneuvered Serenity forward, waiting for Buffy's signal. He knew that she would let him know when it was safe to go further. His eyes searched for the slightest movement, finally saw it, a slight nod. "Hang onto your seats, keep your hands and feet in, and make sure the seats are in an upright position." As he talked, Wash flipped switches and engaged levers.

Serenity moved smoothly through the black. The ghost ships hung frozen until the Firefly passed the three-quarter mark. Slowly, the Reavers fell gracefully into place behind Serenity.

Wash felt like the pied piper with a sky full of Reaver rats following his song. "Call Mr. Universe, we're within wavin' distance."

Mal stepped over and with a few quick switch flips, the strange little man's face appeared on the screen. "Mr. Universe, we need a favor. Have some words that need wavin' out across the verse. You said that you can't stop the wave and we plan to test that fact."

Mr. Universe's large brown eyes went wide along with his smile. "Bring it home to Daddy. From me here to the black, out and about, there and back. I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere. Can't stop the wave, Mal. Hey, that should be my motto; what do you think?"

"It's mighty fine." Mal smiled at the goofy man on the screen. "We aren't far away."

"Don't let the pretty lights scare you. They're harmless, but the ion cloud might addlepate your radar. Full thrusters ahead and you'll be on my front step in no time."

"You'll send a wave if anyone comes lookin' for us?"

Mr. Universe gave Mal a huge grin, holding up three fingers in a pledge sign. "Of course, of course, you'll know as soon as I know. Well, because you can't know any sooner, because even I'm not that fast."

Closing the communication, Mr. Universe turned his chair around to face the Operative and his men. "Am I in the bad guy club now? Do I get to have a really cool sword, too?"

The Operative's face remained impassive as he stepped forward to stab the unwitting man in the chest. He pulled the long blade out and watched as the body crumpled to the floor with a touch of sadness coloring his expression. "I'm afraid that I could only let you borrow mine for a few seconds, and now I have need of it again. I do want to thank you for your help."

Dark eyes scanned the room, taking in the extensive equipment that lined the walls. The Operative turned to his second in command. "I plan to welcome Captain Reynolds myself. See that every ship available is there as well." He started for the exit and called back over his shoulder. "Destroy it. Everything."

A fine sheen of sweat broke out on River's body as she started to tremble. Her control was slipping. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold the Reavers' minds without losing her own. River suddenly felt Buffy's warmth encompass her.

"Let it go, bao bei. You've done enough. The rest we'll have to do on our own. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. Now, put the power back in the box. Don't rush, take your time. Remember, you control the power; it doesn't control you."

River basked in the soothing warmth, wrapping Buffy's love around her. Centering herself, she mentally took a deep breath. She slowly started to reverse the previous motions, putting the genie back in the bottle. The lid slammed shut when the smoke faded back into its nothingness. Chains appeared to wrap themselves around the black box and locked it tight. The box, chains and steel rooms disappeared with a whiff of smoke. River stood facing Buffy in the glade where they first met.

"Very good, mèimei. It's time to wake up. You're going to feel tired, but I need you to dig deep and find the strength to fight. Simon and the others still need your help. I need your help. Mal is going to need me to help him get past the Operative."

"So, tired. Thoughts dark, horrible, full of hate. They know, Buffy. Man created them. We're the ones responsible for the constant pain and anger."

Compassion flooded Buffy's mind. The Reavers were just another victim in this senseless secret war. She has hoped they were ignorant to their fate. No such luck. "Maybe we can help them find peace, River. This, all of it - you, me, Miranda, the Power - has to be a reason for it. I think the Reavers are part of that reason. They didn't deserve what happened to them. While the Reavers and the Alliance fight, a good amount of each should go down and I'll try my best to lay the others to rest. They deserve that. Every human deserves that." The last came out on a wistful note. Buffy felt a sympathetic bond with the Reavers situation that she didn't understand. She did know that it wasn't right for them to live in pain, especially when it wasn't their fault. The Alliance could and should have taken care of this long ago. They simply didn't care that people on the outer rim were dying. Not to mention they didn't want to admit that the Reavers existed, because it might somehow lead back to them.

"Ready, mèimei?" Buffy put her hand out to River, who took it willingly.

Serenity prepared to enter the ion clouds Serenity that surrounded the Satellite Planet that Mr. Universe called home. Lights danced within the fluffy confections, turning the clouds startling shades of blues, pinks and purples. The ship shuddered, disliking the particles' welcoming embrace dancing across her hull. Wash adjusted the controls as he worked to keep the ship stable.

It broke through to the clear skies, only to face the full force of the Alliance. Combat destroyers stood at the ready with smaller shuttles flanking them. The Alliance fleet spread across the sky like hungry hawks ready to hunt the lone sparrow. Guns moved in sync, taking aim at Serenity.

The Operative stood at the center of the fleet, ready to give the order to fire. He admired his opponent's ingenuity at the Reaver disguise and the way the pilot continued straight on course, ignoring the Alliance firepower aimed at them. "Prepare to fire," he ordered. Speaking quietly to himself, he couldn't stop the sad sigh that escaped. "We should have ended this in a field of battle like gentlemen, Captain Reynolds."

No shots fired though, as the Reaver ships burst through the clouds immediately firing the first volley. The sky turned to mayhem while the Alliance stood in shocked silence. No one had ever dared challenge them this way, not since the war.

"This is an unexpected turn of events."

"Sir, what do we do?"

"Fire on the Reavers." The Operative screamed into the com to the other ships. "Everyone fire at the Reavers. Someone fire, now!"

He shook his head, knowing he had once again underestimated his opponent. The Operative stood with his feet braced, waiting to see where Mal would land. A shot crashed directly onto the bridge, barely missing him. Quickly making his way to an escape pod, the Operative set a course toward Mr. Universe's bunker.

Serenity jerked, swooped up, went left, then zoomed right dodging between the Alliance and Reaver ships. The crew hung on for dear life as Wash worked his magic. Somehow, he fit the large ship the smallest gaps imaginable, evading the enemy.

"I'm a leaf on the wind…I'm a leaf on the wind," he chanted his mantra as he flew.

"What the gorram hell is he saying?" Jayne whispered to Book.

"Not rightly sure, but whatever tis, its working. Hush. I've got some prayin' of my own to do." The shepherd bowed his head, his lips falling into prayer.

A large jerk threw the two men into each other's arms. Jayne looked down at Shepherd Book, set him away from him, before he started whispering. "God is great. God is good." Book raised an eyebrow at the mercenary, whose cheeks started to turn a pale pink. "Only one I know, figured it won't hurt." Jayne shrugged, matching his prayer to Wash's rhythmic "I'm a leaf on the wind."

Mal eyed Buffy and River, searching for any sigh that they needed help. River gave him an exhausted smile, while Buffy simple nodded. An exasperated sigh escaped his lips before he could rein it in, which had Buffy's eyes flashing angry sparks at him. The spark only last a moment, replaced by an emotionless stare.

"We almost there, Wash?"

"Yep, everyone better grab hold, cuz the landing might be bumpy." Wash shot by several large metal structures, barely missing them by inches.

"What happened to the leaf?" Jayne shouted

"Not landin' on the gorram wind, you hump. That's solid steel and we're comin' in fast and hot. I'll get us down in one piece, but can't guarantee we won't feel it," Wash sassed as his fingers moved at a blinding speed across the controls.

"Jayne, you leave my mister alone. He don't tell you how to kill or blow up things. You don't start on him about how to fly. Ain't anyone in the verse can fly as good as my Wash, and we all know it." Zoë leveled a dark glare at Jayne that had him backing up.

"Tweren't telling him how to do his job, Zoë. Just needed to know if'n I needed to pray louder." Jayne reached for his gun to calm his nerves and sooth his pride.

Serenity bucked hard as she hit Mr. Universe docking bay. The front hull skidded, causing sparks to shoot out as metal ground against metal. Everyone hung on as best they could, slamming into each other, instruments and walls as Serenity came to a screeching halt.

A huge smile spread across Wash's face, threatening to split it in two. His blue eyes sparkled with equal parts pride and disbelief that he had accomplished this amazing feat. The ship continued to moan and groan as everyone slowly stood. When Wash saw that everyone was okay, he couldn't deny himself any longer. He had to do it. He was about to burst. "I told you I was a leaf on the wind," he bragged, sticking his tongue out at Jayne while his chest puffed out.

That's when it happened of course. A loud groan followed by the undeniable high squeal of metal tearing through metal filled the bridge. Heads turned in unison toward the noise. In a split second, time stopped. Serenity's crew, her family, watched in horror as an evil, ugly bar of metal sharpened to a hideous point slithered through Serenity's protective hull. It came straight at one of their own, cut into precious skin, spilling blood in their home. The horror didn't stop there. Another stepped forward, pushing the injured away, sacrificing their life for another's.

"NO!"

Everyone rushed forward to see to the fallen. Zoë knelt beside Wash. She reached out a trembling hand toward Wash's prone body. A soft moan sounded, causing everyone to stop to see which injured party emitted it.

Mal crouched closer to the small body, unsure what to do or think. His mind raced, keeping pace with his heart. He gently pulled her away from the metal spike. A curse escaped when he saw the wince of pain cross her face. Laying her on the floor carefully, Mal watched her eyes fluttered open. She took shallow breaths, fighting against the pain as she reached for his hand. Mal took her small one in his, waiting for her to speak.

Kaylee skidded to a stop, with tears streaming down her face. "Nara, you can't die. Who's gonna teach me 'bout pretty dresses and makeup and such?"

"Mèimei," Inara whispered, "you don't need all that. Simon will wise up soon and let you catch him." She coughed, growing paler as a distinct wheeze entered her breathing. Blood was filling her lungs, and by the look she exchanged with Mal, Inara knew she didn't have much time.

Buffy heard the far off sound of ships advancing. "Reavers are coming. We have to move. Zoë, take the others and go. I'll bring Wash and Mal along." Zoë bristled, ready to argue. "You can't carry him and fight at the same time; I can. Now, go! We'll be right behind you."

"You heard her, load 'em up everyone. Stay close together and shoot anything that moves, except each other." She turned back to Wash. "Baby, I'll be waiting for you. Don't make me have to have to come get you." Zoë gently kissed him.

"Don't worry, Lamby Toes," he winced, "Buffy'll take care of me. You just be careful. Those Reavers see you and they might decide to crown you queen or something." He gave her a bright, Wash smile.

The crew left the four of them alone on the bridge. Buffy picked Wash up and headed for the door. "I'll leave you alone for your goodbyes. We don't have much time." Her eyes flickered to Inara's face. "I'm sorry." She continued out the door, but hadn't gone far when she heard Inara talking.

"Mal, know it's too late…wanted you to know…love you."

"Shush now, Nara." He smiled at her, squeezing her hand gently. "I know and I love you, too."

Buffy kept walking, having heard more than she wanted, or needed, to. Wash spoke from behind her back as she carried him. "She's dying. Doesn't mean anything."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Ducky. But, you're wrong; that's when it means everything." They remained silent the rest of the journey down the steps to the cargo bay.

Inara gave Mal a sad smile. "No, you don't…nice to say." He started to protest. "Don't argue…no time…Tell her, Mal…Tell her…before too late…you deserve love…she can give you that." She coughed harshly, shaking her entire body. Her eyes fluttered shut as she gasped her last breath.

Mal placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I'll miss you, Inara." He walked away from her for the last time.

Zoë strode through the tunnels with her trusty carbine at the ready. She led the crew, keeping them in a tight group, while Jayne and Shepherd Book covered the back. Kaylee cried silently for Inara. Simon wrapped his arm around her slender waist. He guided her through the semi-darkness, even as his eyes wandered to his sister every few minutes. River walked as if someone had filled her boots with lead. Gone were the graceful, dancer's steps and ever-bright eyes that took in everything at once. The journey had taken its toll, and the young girl was barely hanging on. The tunnel led into an open area with several large boxes strewn about. Jayne and Book immediately moved forward to stack them together to provide cover. Zoë eyed the area from a defensive stance and nodded. It would have to do.

"Kaylee, get River settled somewhere so's she won't get hurt. You and Simon stick close to her. Shepherd, you take their flank. Jayne, I want you to my right. Watch for Mal and the others. Nothing else gets into this room." She cocked the carbine, pointing it at the tunnel, ready to take out anything that threatened her family, Reaver or Alliance alike.

The quiet was eerie as they waited for the Reavers or their friends to step into the room. Growls, shrieks, and metal dragging against cement told them that Reavers were about to make an appearance.

River shuddered. Her hands clamped over her ears as she tried to block out their thoughts. She prayed Buffy would come soon to help her. Her body swayed as her mind overloaded with dark thoughts of hate and anger. "No, no, too dark. Don't make me go down the rabbit hole."

Jayne glared at the mumbling girl. "Great, Mooney's gone and lost it again. Why the hell can't she decide to think about the Moon Pie song and kill all these Reavers?" Vera's booming echo took out several Reavers as it shot through one body straight into another.

Zoë shot so rapidly her carbine sounded like an automatic. "Would you quit complaining and shoot? Sides, she didn't think the gorram song; the tube thought it at her all hidden like. That's what subliminal means, Jayne."

"I knowed that." He shot several Reavers climbing over their dead. "Just thought, if'n she's so all fired smart, she could do it on herself."

Reavers burst through the mob, heading straight for Jayne and Zoë. They understood that these two were the greatest threat. Shots rang out, killing all but one who was about to tackle Jayne when he fell dead at his feet. Shock spread across the mercenary's face when he saw a slender scalpel protruding from the dead "man's" back.

"Lot's of late shifts, residents get bored. Now, leave River alone. She's done enough. The rest is up to us." Simon's blue eyes were glacial and his chin jutted out in anger.

"Less talking, more shooting, people," Book shouted. For each Reaver he shot, another quickly took its place. They were like ants swarming a mound.

"Shoot. First rule - Don't die," River mumbled as she continued to rock. She suddenly stilled, tilting her head as if she heard something above the fighting. "Shoot! Shoot! But, not them. They're on the other side."

"Doc, do you know what she's blabberin' about?"

"Buffy and Mal are coming through, give 'em some cover," Book answered, giving River a quick wink before he continued shooting.

Mal tried to force Buffy to let him carry Wash. He would have had better luck convincing Mingo that Fanty wasn't his brother. Watching her effortlessly carry the large body as if it weighed nothing, didn't make him feel any better. When Reavers attacked, Mal wanted to make sure Buffy could get to the others unhindered.

"More are coming, might want to step it up, Mal." Buffy called back to him, before taking off at a fast jog. Wash's body bounced up and down until he wrapped his arms around her slender waist, and rested his head on the upper curve of her rear.

Mal frowned at the new position, not particularly liking where Wash's hands were on his woman. He knew they were just friends and Wash was hurt. The pilot probably didn't even realize the way it looked, Mal thought as he lopped along, trying to keep up with them. That innocent thought didn't last long. When Mal finally caught up to them, Wash lifted his head from his Slayer pillow. His blue eyes twinkled with merry mischief, and no small amount of revenge. Catching Mal's own blue eyes, he caressed his cheek against the curvature, and then nestled closer to Buffy.

Buffy heard Mal grind his teeth. She couldn't stop the smile from lifting the corners of her mouth. Good ole Ducky, he always was my knight in shining armor. Hating to break up the boys pissing contest, she felt the Reavers the closer they traveled.

"We aren't too far away. Magine River's already told 'em to expect us. You ready, Mal. They're around two more corners, followed by a straight shaft. The first group's always the smallest. Best I can tell, there's only about 10 to 15 alive."

"That's a small group?" Wash yelped.

"The real raiding parties run upwards to 75, maybe 100. They don't fight together normally. When they do, they know what they're doing." A hard look overtook Buffy's face as she remembered the ones she had fought.

"I'll go in first as a diversion. You get Wash to cover." Mal started forward, the blue, steel gun in his hand.

"Whoa, cowboy, if we split up, we'll get mobbed. We have to go in at the same time. Fast, hard and shooting. River's told the others that we're coming. They'll keep the worst ones off us."

"Why won't you ever do what I say? I have fought in battles before. I've even killed me a Reaver or two," Mal argued. He fought the urge to hit something, or even childishly stomp his foot. This woman had turned his world upside down and made him doubt everything he ever believed at least once.

Buffy stared at him blankly. "I'm not trying to take your place, Mal. This is what I've been doing for the past two years, fighting Reavers. They won't react the way you expect them to. The only thing on their minds is to capture those they want and kill the rest. Nothing gets between that, but hard, cold metal. This is what I am. I'm the Slayer and this is what I do. You're still the Captain, Mal"

Rounding the last corner, they found Reavers crawling over one another at the entrance of the room.

"Take my hand, Mal."

"Don't worry, Buffy, we'll get through this," he reassured her as he placed his hand over hers.

She grabbed his hand, pulling him with a hard jerk. Buffy's legs started pumping harder, pushing her forward at a fast pace. She slid her hand up Mal's arm to support him as they ran. Her momentum allowed Mal to run faster. He looked up in time to realize exactly what she intended to do. Buffy's free arm slammed into Reavers seconds before her body, followed by Mal's, they collided into the mob. She threw the bodies aside, clearing a path. Mal shot those that tried to grab the tiny blonde. He felt her wrap her fingers more securely around his upper arm. Unsure what to expect, he braced himself, trying to prepare for anything. Anything that didn't include being tossed across the room.

"Jayne, heads up!"

Mal's body shot straight up, over the Reavers' heads, toward the stacked boxes. The large mercenary jumped out to grab the flying body as best he could. They fell into a tangled heap of arms and legs.

Jayne attempted to stand, only to find himself on his butt, since Mal attempted the same feat. "Gorramit, Mal, would you quit wiggling. I'm gonna think you really are a man-whore."

Mal jumped to his feet with the sole intention of going straight back for Buffy. A blonde hurricane blew past him before he could take more than a few steps. He closed ranks with Jayne and Shepherd Book to clear out the remaining Reavers.

Buffy gently lay Wash down, and then got out of Zoë's way. She knew better than to get between a woman and her man. She went over to River, pulling her onto her feet, and forcing her to meet the dark green eyes that searched her face. River visibly relaxed the instant Buffy touched her, as if the ever-present energy that lay under the golden skin transferred across their bond.

"Boa bei, you'll have to find that place inside yourself that wants to fight. Don't be afraid of it. You're stronger than you think, River." Torn between what she wanted to do, and unsure whether River would accept her gift, Buffy pulled the Scythe from the secret place it hid on her body.

"How's she do that?" Jayne's eyes searched the small body, admiring the tight leather clothing. "Don't 'pear like nothing could be twixt her and them clothes ceptin' a sigh."

River stepped back, shaking her head, wrapping her hands around her waist. "No, Slayer needs it to keep Buffy safe."

Buffy saw the desperate look in River's eyes and put the Scythe away. She leaned forward to kiss the pale, smooth forehead before turning away to join Mal and Zoë. Dark, soulful eyes stared after the small powerful woman. She knew that Buffy wouldn't leave her if she couldn't do this on her own. The faith the Slayer had in her sparked a tiny flame. Buffy walked up to hear Kaylee talk about locking doors, Zoë arguing about holding out the Reavers as long as possible, Jayne saying she's crazy, and Mal watching them all talk and not saying anything. Buffy found that the strangest part of all.

"We don't have a lot of time here, people. Either go in the tunnel and close the doors, or get ready to fight. Mal, we have to get going. Zoë, I'm going to take Ducky inside where you won't have to worry about him. Don't be heroes here."

Mal gave his second-in-command a stern look. "You don't quit on me. I ain't ever left a man behind and ain't gonna start now."

"Long as you don't quit, I won't.

Mal headed for the open blast doors. Buffy followed behind, carrying Wash who blew Zoë kisses. "Go on ahead; I'll be right behind you as soon as I have him situated. Don't do anything stupid, like die, okay?" She didn't look up at Mal, but knew that he didn't want to leave without her. "I won't be long, go on. Those Reavers aren't far off and I don't want the others to stay out there too long. The sooner they see you gone the better."

"Hey," he protested, "man could take that kinda talk to heart." He gave her a smile that tried to convey everything he felt for her. "You see that you come and rescue me from any tight places I might happen to find for myself."

"I've got your back, Mal, don't worry."

He nodded, before walking to the elevator at the end of the shaft. Mal climbed aboard and pushed the doors closed.

Buffy placed a kiss on her friend's head. She got up ready to head in the elevator's direction. An urge had her turning around to shake Wash gently awake.

"Ducky, can you hear me?"

Wash slowly opened his eyes. "Yeah."

"I need you to give this to River." She wrapped his fingers around the Scythe. "Tell her she'll know what to do when the time comes. Can you remember that Ducky?"

"Can do." His eyes fluttered closed. Buffy got up once more, and started after Mal. "Buffy," Wash whispered," she stopped, "don't die."

"First rule of slaying, Ducky, and the only one I try not to break."

Wash smiled, clutching the Scythe tightly. "Good."

She smiled as she stepped into the elevator. Buffy hoped that Mal found Mr. Universe minus the Operative. "Stupid, stupid Buffy, way to go, you just jinxed Mal. Now that stupid son of an Operative will be there waiting for him."

Mal stepped out of the elevator, intent on finding Mr. Universe. A bad feeling settled in the pit of his stomach when he stepped into the destroyed love nest. He found Mr. Universe's body in a fetal position on the couch, with his head on his lovebot's lap as she caressed his hair. Mal almost swore the bot looked sad.

Shaking his head at his fanciful thoughts, he kicked the shattered pieces at his feet. "What the gorram hell am I going to do now?"

"Mal," Lenore said, rather her lips moved, but Mr. Universe's word came out, "he used a sword to kill me. He thinks he killed the signal, fool. Can't stop the signal, Mal. I don't have much time. Destroyed my little love nest, but not everything. Back up unit…over the generator…it's at the bottom…They didn't get it, I know; never see it less you know where to look. Can't ever stop the signal, Mal…Don't let them stop it, Mal." The bot stopped talking, bowing her head as if she ran out of power.

"Mr. Universe, if you tweren't dead and speakin' from a bot, I might just kiss you." Mal grinned as he ran from the room.

Mal had no more than left the room when a vent in the ceiling popped open and a body came through. The Operative landed on his feet, sword at the ready. He searched the room for Mal and his crew, seeing no one, he moved in front of Mr. Universe and Lenore.

The bot activated once more. "Mal, he used a sword to kill me…."

The Operative listened to the recording. His normally stoic face changed as a smile crossed his lips. "Ah, Captain Reynolds, we will get to meet on the battlefield after all." He slowly walked toward the same exit the Mal used only moments before.

Buffy exited the elevator. She took in the destroyed room, Mr. Universe, Lenore and the open panel in a single glance. "Great, wonder what kind of trouble Mal found for himself." She started across the floor, which activated the lovebot's recording. Stopping to listen to the message, her frown became intensified. "Stupid man didn't even bother to disable the bot. Nooo, left it for anyone coming after him to hear." Buffy placed her hands around the Lenore's head and gave it a quick twist that tore if cleanly off at the bot's shoulders. "Sorry, don't know if you can feel that. Girl has to take precautions, even if they're probably too damn late." She respectfully laid the head in Mr. Universe's arms before striding from the room.

Each crewmember held a gun, with the exception of River, their eyes stared at the door that they'd barricaded with boxes. Kaylee's hand shook as she pointed her gun. She glanced over at Simon, wondering if they ever had a chance.

"Never thought I'd go out this way."

"Guess I never thought much about anything except taking care of River. Worried so hard about keeping us safe and getting home that I didn't realize that we already were. Only thing I truly regret was never showing you how I felt." He brushed the hair away from her face.

Her jaw fell open into a soft 'o'. "You mean show me like with kissing, touching and the sex?"

Simon grinned, even though he blushed slightly. "Yeah, with the sex."

She wrapped both hands tightly around her gun, steadying her hand. "Forget this. I'm gonna beat those Reavers back, close the door behind us, then you and me we're going to have the sex, lots of it." Kaylee couldn't contain her glee any longer and danced in place.

Loud roars echoed down the tunnel. Banging sounded against the door, followed by utter silence. Then, the eerie, high-pitched squeal associated with metal bending against its will. A grotesque face shoved its way through a small opening, and was met by a bullet. This seemed to enrage or excite the Reavers more. They widened the gap, which allowed them access to their prey.

Zoë stood as if she was in a trance, seeing Wash injured in her mind's eye. She shot the first one that came through. Stepping into the open, her carbine continued to fire as five more followed. Jayne screamed at her to get back, but she ignored everything, except the fire for vengeance that ran through her blood. The memory of how close she had come to losing her other half burned in her mind. When the carbine was empty, she threw it behind her without a thought. Zoë's body fell into hand-to-hand combat without missing a beat. A Reaver slashed at her with a long blade. She bent at the waist, flipped him over her back, crushed his hand with her foot, grabbed the knife, while she slit his throat as she came back to standing.

Jayne shot at the opening, trying to cover Zoë in her madness. He didn't know what it was about Serenity and its womenfolk that seemed to make them go all addlepatted. Sure wished they'd find a gorram better time to do it though. "Shepherd, cover me whilst I try to get her back behind some cover."

Shepherd Book aimed at the door picking off the Reavers as quickly as possible. Kaylee shot at the barred windows that they started tearing their way though. Suddenly, barbed darts shot through the air, hitting the cargo boxes. Jayne ran forward to grab Zoë; unfortunately, he was too late. A Reaver sliced her though the back with a large knife. Simon and Book shot into the crowd as Jayne grabbed Zoë. He carried her back to Simon, carefully placing her on her stomach.

Simon tore open Zoë's shirt to examine the wound. Jayne took his stance once again. He cussed about stupid women with guns and going crazy in middle of fight. The wound didn't look fatal. Simon applied hardening foam before applying a wrap around the wound.

Gunshots, nail balls and blades flew through the opening to bombard the crew. The gap opened wider as more Reavers flood into the room. A bullet hit Jayne at the same time that darts scattered across the front of Kaylee. She screamed as she wilted to the floor.

Jayne continued to fire shouting, "Cheaters, you're not supposed to use guns."

Simon knelt beside Kaylee, rapidly pulling the darts away from her skin. He pulled her into his arms as he heard Zoë shout.

"Pull back. Everybody into the tunnel. Now!"

Shepherd Book grabbed River who stood wide-eyed at the chaos going on around her. He ushered her into the tunnel. Simon was already far ahead of them laying Kaylee next to the prone Wash. Zoë and Jayne brought up the rear slamming the controls shut as they rushed to join the others. They watched, holding their breaths as the blast doors start closing, only they stopped, leaving a large gap.

Zoë turned to Jayne with a frightened look as she saw the Reavers start to approach. "Jayne! Grenade, now." He tossed it through the hole. She watched the blast, then turned back to the others, and coolly stated. "They're going to come in after us."

"I can close it from the outside," Kaylee said, trying to stand. She would have fallen flat on her face if Simon hadn't been there to catch her. Her hand went to her head. "I think them darts came with somethin' extra in 'em."

Simon gathered her close. His hand smoothed the hair away from her face. "I'll take care of you. I can counteract the poison with…" He frantically searched around him for his medical bag. "My bag, I need my bag." As he stood up, a shot rang out, everyone gasped in shock as Simon froze in place then fell back from the impact.

River came out of her stupor. Her mouth twisted into a silent scream as she watched the blood pump from the wound in her brother's stomach. Shepherd Book leapt for the fallen doctor. His capable hands tore off his own shirt to apply it to the wound.

Simon gasped out directions. "Need…my bag…adrenaline…for me…calaphar…for Kaylee…River?"

She appeared by his side, although the others couldn't have said they saw her move. She didn't appear scared by what was happening almost as if she knew it would come to this.

"I'm sorry."

"No, Simon."

The room went dark. Jayne fired into the opening, but no one said a word, except the siblings. Wash handed the Scythe to Zoë, who handed it to Book. The Shepherd slipped it into River's hands. He swore he felt an electrical shock when the girl touched the weapon. He couldn't see her, but he knew she was nodding to him.

"I'm sorry that I have…to leave…," his said, breathing heavily.

"I won't let you. You've always taken care of me, Simon." River stood with the Scythe firmly in her hand, just as the emergency light came on. Her face a mask of peaceful determination as she looked down at her brother, her protector. "It's my turn, ge ge."

She took off running before anyone, with the exception of Wash, knew what was happening. Reaching the gap, she doesn't slow instead made a perfect dive through the hole as Simon screamed her name. She landed in a roll, grabbed Simon's bag, throwing it through the hole, while simultaneously hitting the switch to shut the door. River dodged a blade, wove around the Reavers until she was sure that the doors were closing. The last thing the crew saw was River pulled under a mass of Reaver bodies. .

Mal found the generator and stared at in awe. The huge monstrosity stood in the center of the room without any visible way to get across other than overhead chains and hand holds. "Not easy to get to, my cute little ass." Taking a deep breath, he launched himself into the open area, grabbing onto a rung and started to hand walk himself toward his target. A sharp pain in his back alerted him that he was no longer alone. Looking back over his shoulder, he noticed the Operative standing on the ledge, holding a laser gun.

"You shot me in the back. I wouldn't be started to get you angered up, would I?"

He gave the other man a saucy grin before his grip loosened. Mal fell down to the platform below, landing painfully on his back. The Operative went to shoot him again, but Mal was faster and shot the gun from his hand.

"Give up Captain Reynolds. Many innocent people are dying."

"You got that right." Mal glared at the other man. "I've seen the truth of your perfect world. The one you want to keep. The verse deserves to know that truth too."

"They do? Are you willing to die in order for that to happen?"

"Yes."

The Operative searched the cool, blue eyes that stared unflinchingly back at him. His opponent had undergone a huge metamorphosis since they had last met. He drew his gun again, before realizing that it was useless. Throwing it away, he dove for cover as Mal shot several more rounds.

"Not that that's my first choice," Mal said. He reloaded his gun and quickly started climbing up a rung toward the upper platform.

The Operative jumped at the chains hanging from the ceiling. He swung himself from one chain to another until he reached the platform at the same time Mal hoisted himself onto it.

They circled each other before rushing forward like Goliaths. During the tussle, Mal's gun fell off the edge. Shoving the Operative away from him, he stumbled into a tool chest, knocking it over. His hand reached behind him, searching for a weapon as the Operative drew his sword. Mal felt something cool and metallic. He grabbed it, pulling it forward triumphantly, until he saw that it was only a tiny screwdriver. Mal rushed the Operative, trying to stab him in the neck. The Operative easily blocked the attack and saw an opening. His sword slid into Mal's stomach. "Would you like me to tell you what your sin is, Malcolm?"

"I'm partial to all seven myself."

He head-butted the Operative, then punched him causing him to stagger back, and lose his grip on the sword. The Operative kicked out at Mal who shoved the screwdriver into the oncoming leg. Using the screwdriver to keep the Operative unbalanced, he hit him square in the face, knocking him down. Mal stared down at his fallen enemy about to remove the sword when a solid mass hits the platform. He turned to see Buffy standing there.

"I'm partial to pissed off myself. Need help with that." She pointed at the sword protruding from his body.

"You mean wraith, and yeah wouldn't mind."

"Tomato, tamato." She shrugged, carefully pulling the blade free, trying not to hurt him anymore than necessary. "Came as soon as I could, but obviously you found a tight place."

"I do what I can. Wouldn't want you to feel useless."

The Operative slowly got to his feet, watching the inter-play between the couple in front of him. The woman intrigued him. Her cool attitude and the way she handled the situation told him that she was a warrior. Mal's expression showed how much she meant to him. The situation had turned in the Operative's favor. Take out the woman and Malcolm Reynolds becomes a broken man. A sinister smile graced the Operative's lips. He could feel the tide turning with each step he took.

"Do you mind if I cut in on this dance?" Buffy's eyes glittered with the light of battle.

Mal bowed his head, winced in pain and said, "Be my guest. Have some tother business to take care of anyways."

"Didn't think you'd mind." She winked at him. "How do you think the others are doing?" she asked, ignoring the approaching enemy.

"Spect them to be waiting when we're through here, same as always." His blue eyes watched her intently, wondering what she was doing.

"River will take care of them." Buffy didn't turn when the Operative was almost upon her; instead, she leaned forward, bringing her right foot perpendicular to the floor, slamming it straight into his jaw. The man flew backwards several feet, stunned by the force of the impact. "Well, best be getting to it then." She turned away with a feral grin on her lips. "Now, how about you and me dance a little while," she said in a husky whisper, wondering where she had said those words before. They seemed to fit the situation perfectly.

"Oh, yeah, he's wearing body amour," Mal called out to her.

"Won't help him."

Buffy prowled forward, eyes never leaving her prey. This man was responsible for all the innocents that died on Haven, and the other planets. He held her gaze without flinching. She'd have to see what she could do about changing that by the time she was through with him.

"You must be the Slayer that I've heard so much about. It's an honor to meet you on the field of battle," the Operative said in his smooth tones. He got to his feet, ready to take on this new challenge.

"Too bad that I can't say the same about you," came the gruff reply. Buffy assessed his stance. She saw him try to divide his attention between her and Mal to see if there was any way to get by her and stop Mal. A laugh threatened to burst from her lips at the absurdity of that thought. No way was this parasite getting by her. The Slayer was out in full force, this game of cat and mouse stopped here and now. Mal would send that message, if it was the last thing she did in this verse.

Crouching low, Buffy sprang at a point just past him shoulder. She startled him when she didn't go for a direct hit. She caught the chains directly behind him and used the momentum to plant both feet in his back. He went down like a ton of bricks. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "Remember my promise to you? I've only just started. Not so much fun when you fight someone who can fight back, is it?"

He pushed her off, coming to his feet with an angry look on his face. Buffy gave him a cocky look as she leaned against the railings waiting for him to rush her. The Operative hesitated when he spied his sword. His entire demeanor changed, his body straightened as he strode over to his weapons and grabbed it. He advanced toward Buffy, swinging the sword at her throat when her hands came together, stopping the blow. His eyes widened in disbelief. The one thing he always could depend on was his swordsmanship. What is this woman?

"That wasn't very gentlemanly, now was it? How about we just take this out of the game and continue."

She plucked the sword from his hand and broke it over her knees. The Operative stood stunned, looking at the two pieces as if they would somehow reassemble before his eyes if he stared long enough. Buffy, never one to miss an advantage in a fight, hammered his body with one blow after another until he crumbled at her feet. She took his face in her hands, forcing him to look into her eyes.

"The world that you fought and killed for was a lie. They built it on the blood of innocents. Are you ready, Mal?" She looked up to see him nod. Buffy pulled the Operative over to the railing, leaning him in a sitting position. She grabbed the sword pieces and drove them into his legs, causing him to scream in pain. "I told you I'd make you pray for death. Well, watch this tape and see if you don't start praying. See if you don't wish that you couldn't erase your pathetic life and those of the monsters you've served," she hissed.

Buffy stepped away, going to help Mal whose stomach wound was bleeding pretty badly now. She wrapped her arm around his waist, taking most of the weight as the walked over to the edge. Mal hit a button and a ramp extended under their feet as they hear the first words of the message start to play.

The Operative watched in horror, tears streaming down his face with the realization that his entire life was a lie.

Shepherd Book worked diligently to stop Simon's bleeding. He administered the adrenaline, removed the bullet and wrapped the wound. Only thing left for them to do was the hardest thing of all - wait. The calaphar shot seemed to work wonders for Kaylee and she slept soundly beside Simon, holding his hand even in sleep. Book moved on to Jayne. Luckily, the bullet went clean through and the large man only needed the wound patched up.

Wash and Zoë talked in murmured whispers about how they wanted to start a baby if they survived this.

"You think Mal made it through?" Jayne asked, wincing. "Gorramit, Shepherd, not so tight."

"If it ain't tight, then it won't heal and infection could set in, now hush." Book pulled the bandage harder just for good measure, an evil twinkle in his dark eyes.

"They made it through. Buffy wouldn't let anything happen to Mal," Zoë said.

Wash squeezed his wife's hand, giving her one of the special Wash smiles. She returned it, kissing his forehead lovingly.

Everyone turned when the elevator doors open. Mal and Buffy stepped off, and slowly made their way over to the crew. Buffy laid Mal down beside Kaylee and Book rushed over to treat him. Her eyes scanned the group, noticing who was missing immediately. She didn't say a word.

"Where's River?" Mal asked.

"Doing what she needed to do," Buffy replied.

River moved so quickly that she appeared to be everywhere at once. The Scythe hummed in her hand, an extension of her as she fought. In her other hand, she held a blade stolen from a fallen Reaver. She swung her weapons in tandem as her body moved gracefully above, between and around her prey. Yes, she was the predator not they.

They came at her from all sides, hoping to overwhelm her with their numbers. It didn't work. Her fists, feet, head, body and weapons, all together created the perfect killing machine. The Reaver bodies that lay in piles around the room could attest to that. This time, unlike in the bar, River maintained complete control. She saw where opponents would attack and moved ahead of them.

Silence filled the room as she stood triumphant, Reaver bodies piled almost as high as she was tall. She went to the blast doors, opening them just as the wall behind her came tumbling down. Soldiers filed in, aiming guns, shouting to put down the weapons. The crew immediately drew theirs as Buffy slid into the shadows, working her way toward River.

A soldier called over his comm system. "Sir, we have the targets in our sights. What are your orders?"

The Operative stared at the tape. Miranda's horrors reflected on his face from the screen as tears slowly leaked down his face.

"Sir, do we take out the targets?"

River's body tensed as she wrapped her fingers tightly around the Scythe. She felt Buffy coming for her while she eyed the soldier's fingers inches from the trigger ready to shoot. Buffy was just behind the open blast door, only a few feet away. River knew that she could make it there if she needed to.

"No, do not engage. It's over. Everything is over. Pull back soldier that's an order."

Buffy rushed out to hug River, pushing the blood stained hair from her face as she kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you, mèimei. You knew what to do and you did it. Do you forgive me?"

River searched Buffy's face, taking a moment to understand her friend's rushed speech. "Yes, the Scythe was needed here to fight the darkness. Slayer understood and took care of Buffy anyway. Will you leave me now?" The thought made her sad, and she couldn't stop the words from escaping.

The question shocked Buffy, who wasn't sure how to answer. "I have to go and talk with the Council. See what they want me to do from here. I'd like to take you with me, but only if you want to. It wouldn't be like before, and there isn't any danger that the Alliance can get you. I want the Council's permission to demolish "special" schools and go after the remaining Reavers. We shook up The Alliance, but they're still strong. If we don't strike now while people know what happened, then it will all be for nothing. I'd like your help, River."

"Me, really?"

"Course you, silly. Why wouldn't I want a powerful psychic that can kick ass?"

The crew found them giggling and whispering secrets when they joined them.

A shallow desert valley surrounded a gentle outcropping of small trees, sheltered by low hills. Near the center, the Serenity crew stood with their heads bowed, paying respect to those Haven residents who lost their lives. They had come to lay their lost ones to rest. Haven represented a second home to them, and it only seemed right for their family to find their final rest here.

Tower-like mounds of dirt, roughly three feet high stood, with clear bells atop them reflected the loved one's hologram. Lovingly carved names decorated the fronts. Inara's beauty shown through, to sparkle and shine eternally. Mr. Universe and Lenore, together even in death, which was as it should be.

Buffy stood aways off, staring at a small mound. A shining, smiling child's face whirled within the glass. The child's face held such joy that you could almost hear her laugh. A slender finger traced the soft lines, wishing with all her heart to see and touch this child again.

"She loved you. You were her hero." Shepherd Book stepped up beside the silent Slayer.

"I got her dead. Pretty much what happens to everyone that loves me."

Book studied the woman next to him. She was an enigma wrapped in a riddle. The minute you think you have the answer, she changed the game. He had a feeling that he knew what this was about. "Do you love him?"

She didn't move a single hair; if possible, she became stiller. "Not sure I know what that means anymore, cept when it comes to River. Her I'd die or kill for. Him, I'm not so sure anymore. Wasn't 'sposed to get all complicated, just have fun and get off when the ride was done. You know the life I have, you've lived some of it. I only wanted to keep River safe and teach her how to care for herself, case I wasn't there to do it."

"Might ought to figure that out afore you go much further. Malcolm's a good man, but he's set in his ways. Pretty much guarantees that he'd love as hard as he'd hate."

Buffy nodded knowing what Book said was true. She didn't know which would make her life easier, Mal hating her or loving her.

While Serenity stayed on Haven for repairs, Simon agreed to let River go with Buffy. Mal, of course, didn't like the situation one bit. He really didn't like that Buffy still wasn't talking to him, other than polite conversation. He tried everything he could to get some time alone with her, nothing worked.

Buffy arranged to rendezvous with a transport several hours away from Haven. She had already said her goodbyes to everyone, and waited for River in the shuttle. Mal stood beside Serenity staring at her. He watched River climb aboard and raised a hand to wave them off, a heavy sigh escaped his lips when he received a slight nod from Buffy.

"Damned stubborn woman," he grumbled, turning back to return to the crew.

River searched Buffy's profile, seeing the hard line of her jaw. "Why won't you talk to Mal?"

"I need time to think about what I really want, and so does he. Inara just died. Even though they weren't together anymore, or they might have still been, not too sure on that, he needs to grieve for her. Once we finish meeting with the Council, I should know what I want. If he's as smart as he thinks he is, once Mal knows his own mind, he'll know where to find me."

The shuttle shot off into the black. River thought about everything that she had survived this past year. She knew that Buffy and Simon were why she was still alive and sane. Whatever beings responsible for sending her Buffy, she sent them a silent prayer of thanks. A soft smile graced her face as she thought about her brother and Kaylee. She thought that she would have a hard time convincing Simon to let her go with Buffy. He was reluctant at first. Kaylee's gently voice pushed him into agreeing by simply stating there wasn't anywhere safer in the verse than with Buffy. River thought it had more to do with Simon wanting to get naked with the pretty engineer.

They found themselves walking into the Council's chambers far sooner than either thought possible. The structure appeared nondescript from the outside. No one would ever think that within the walls lived the most powerful men and women in the verse. The Alliance Parliament tried to continue the facade that the power remained in their hands. It would be slow, but change was coming to the verse.

Huge doors opened the minute that Buffy and River stood before them. River's eyes grew large and her slender hand slipped into Buffy's. The reassuring squeeze she received helped to stop her trembling. Buffy turned to give her a quick wink that caused River to smile. The only sound was their boots echoing against the marble floor. They stopped before a large semi-circle where nine men and women sat waiting for Buffy to speak. She bowed her head respectfully, before clearing her throat.

"Greeting, esteemed members of the Council. It is an honor to stand before you again. My mission was successful and River Tam agreed to accompany me. She wishes to share her experience at the Alliance Academy. Once you hear her story, I ask permission to strike swiftly, using Peacemakers to close the schools, extracting all students. I have another request, but it can wait."

The Head Council member announced, "We agree to your request. Take your rest for now. Your usual quarters await you. Do you wish for Miss Tam to stay with you, or shall we prepare other accommodations?"

River squeezed Buffy's hand so tightly that if she weren't a Slayer, she would have broken her fingers. "River stays with me."

"As you will."

The crew worked diligently to repair Serenity, still it was slow going. River would wave Simon every week or so, but no one had heard word one from Buffy. Mal grumbled at everyone, until Jayne asked Simon to knock him out to give them all some peace.

Shepherd Book stepped aboard with a basket that filled the cargo bay with a delicious smell. Everyone stopped working as their hungry eyes leveled it. "Womenfolk thought you might be hungry, seeing how hard you've been working. Didn't seem like you was gonna to stop for lunch, so I volunteered, since I had some news. Come on, clean yourselves up and I'll lay out the table." Without another word, Book headed for the galley.

The others followed suit, until they had all gathered around the table, filling plates and passing food.

"You said you had news, Shepherd Book." Mal sipped his coffee, noticing for the first time the nervous look on Book's face.

"Erm, yes, well about that. We just received a wave that the Alliance Academies were hit in a single strike across the verse. Far as I can tell, the only casualties were the workers. No one knows what happened to the children that attended the schools."

Mal stood, knocking his chair backward. "What the gorram hell?" Understanding dawned on his face, as he uttered a single word. "Buffy."

"What about Buffy, more than that, what about River? Do you think they're still together? Is River safe?" Simon searched first Book's face then Mal's.

Wash spoke out this time. "Buffy won't let anything happen to River. Not to mention, I think River can pretty much take care of herself."

A ping came over the comm system alerting them that they had a wave. "Simon, can you hear me?"

The young doctor jumped up from the table and ran for the galley console. "River is that you? I just heard about the Academies, please tell me that you weren't involved."

Hesitation fell heavy on the line. "Can't do that, ge ge. Buffy said that we could meet on Beamonde whenever you say. Is Serenity all fixed?"

"Tell her that we'll meet them in one week at Mingo and Fanty's," Mal said.

"I heard. Talk to you soon. Love you, Simon. Send everyone my love, bye." The communication ended, before anyone could say anything else.

"River," Simon called, "Gorramit." He slammed his hand against the wall.

As Serenity landed on Beamonde, the crew couldn't help but remember their last visit this particular planet. They exited the ship cautiously unsure of their welcome, weapons close at hand, ever ready for trouble. A group sigh rippled through them as no one paid them any special attention.

"Stay close. Not rightly, sure, why Mingo and Fanty escaped the Operative's special attention, so expect anything. See anything funny, shoot first, ask questions later," Mal said. He took the lead, with Jayne bringing up the rear.

Mal walked down the steps unsure what to expect. It certainly wasn't what he saw. There sat River between the twins chatting away. Fanty and Mingo seemed fascinated by what she was saying.

"Am I seeing things?" Wash's blue eyes widened in shock. "Didn't she destroy this place last time she was here? I could understand if'n Buffy was sitting with 'em, but I don't see her nowheres."

They walked down the stairs, making their way over to the table. River looked up and graced them with a beautiful smile. "You're here." She bounced in her seat with joy. "We were just talking about Buffy closing down the Academies. You should've seen her, Simon. She set up the whole thing. It was wonderful. The blue hands are gone, poof."

"Mal, this lovely lady has been telling us the most wonderful stories. She's welcome in our humble establishment any time," Fanty said.

"Yes, Mal. Where do you come up with them? That blonde gave us the tingles." Mingo dramatically shook himself. "She threatened us with the most inventive torture, should anything happen to the little one. I was almost tempted to step over the line just to force her hand." A dreamy look crossed his face.

Mal stepped forward, a low grumble emitting from his throat. "Where's Buffy at River?"

"Gone. She said 'if' you wanted her that you'd know where to find her."

Mal spun on his heel and stomped from the bar. The others watched him go before bursting out laughing. River shook her head at the star-crossed lovers. They were both so stubborn. It would take a miracle for them to get together. A sly smile crossed her lips as she turned to the twins, kissing each on the cheek, before scooting from the booth.

She motioned for the others to gather around and whispered her plan to them. Jayne stood up, a decidedly wicked gleam in his dark eyes. The others nodded in agreement, liking River's idea, not only because they thought the couple belonged together, but they knew that Mal wouldn't be fit to live with until he reunited with the small blonde.

Buffy wondered for the hundredth time if she'd done the right thing. She knew that River could take care of herself. She also knew that she wasn't really worried about River. Her thoughts settled on the real problem, a certain stubborn Firefly captain.

Destroying the Academies laid to rest many ghosts in her past. She could see a future for herself and she had finally admitted that she wanted Mal there beside her. The only problem was, she wasn't sure that he felt the same way. Her past relationships hadn't given her a good basis for judging when a man meant what he said by his actions or words. She decided that if he came for her then they had a chance at a future together. If not, well she'd been alone before and she could do it again.

"You know, laying about staring at the sun, sure nuff way to fry your brainpan," a gruff female voice said above Buffy's head.

Buffy laid her hand over her eyes to shadow the sun. She gave the woman a smile. "Tweren't staring at it, just thinking in its direction. Is that your famous lemonade I see?"

"Thought you might be a might parched, what with all that thinking your doing?" The woman handed her a glass as she settled down in the tall grass next to the small blonde. "You got it all figured out, yet?"

"Bout near. If'n he comes, then I spect it means he does want me." She gave a huge, Gallic shrug. "If'n he don't, then spect he don't. Pretty simple."

The older woman's head tilted back in laughter. "You yougens, always thinking life is simple. Girl, did you ever think that he's a man and might just be too stupid to think that you'd come here?" She got up, leaving a dumfounded Buffy behind her.

The Serenity crew were at their wits' end. Mal had dragged them all about the verse for the past month. He would take any job, no matter how small, if he thought it would lead him to Buffy. River tried dropping hints, but the stubborn man wouldn't listen to anyone. Jayne was ready to shoot him and Zoë wasn't far behind. The only saving grace was that they finished the last lead that Mal had.

"Sir, you have to slow down or take a break; the crew are ready to mutiny. You running us to the raggedy edge won't help find her. Maybe you should take a break, rest up and think this through. We aren't far from Shadow. How long has it been since you've been home to see your Ma? Bit of home cooking might do us all some good," Zoë said.

Mal raked his hand through his hair in frustration. "Where could she be, Zoë? Why would she hide from me, thinking I don't want her?"

"That'd be twixt the two of you, but did you ever tell her, sir?" She walked away, leaving him with that thought.

Serenity landed in an open clearing, not far from the ranch house. Caroline Reynolds walked out, ringing her hands on her apron. A smile brightened her work weathered face as she waited for her son to disembark. She had expected him to visit any time now, but never knew with Malcolm and his wandering ways. Her heart skipped a beat as she watched him step off his ship. His proud walk and keen eyes that took in the world with a single glance reminded her so much of his father.

Mal picked his mother up in huge hug, swinging her around. "Ma, you look younger every time I see you."

"Malcolm," laughter in her voice, "put me down. You silly boy. I'm so happy to see you. Why didn't you wave? I coulda had a proper meal ready for you and your crew. All I have is some fried chicken and such."

"Ma'am," Jayne said, "that sounds like a feast to me. Specially, after eating Kaylee's rations."

"Hey," Kaylee protested.

"Don't you mind ole Jayne none, child. I'm sure you make a fine meal with what you have," Catherine soothed. "Come on in the house. Lunch should be done soon." She turned away, hurrying back into the large ranch house.

"Cap'n, your ma's the nicest folk. How come you're so mean?" Kaylee asked.

"Take after my pa. He was a naughty man too." Mal walked ahead of the others, stopping when something in the field caught his eye. "You all go on in the house. I'll be in directly." Without another word, he took off with long strides toward the long grasses. Mal stopped short. He jaw tensed at what he found. There, lying on a blanket with her Scythe beside her, was none other than Buffy. What the gorram hell was she doing on Shadow? Why was she staying with his mother, of all people? Answers clicked into place. "You are a stupid man, Malcolm Reynolds."

"Yes, you are."

He hadn't realized that he said the last part out loud until Buffy answered him. She set up slowly, looking more beautiful than he could ever recall. Her lay wild about her shoulder, sleep tousled from her nap, her skin sun kissed as her eyes twinkled with mischief and something he couldn't name.

"Took you long enough to get here." She noticed the shocked look on his face and her eyes went dead, hiding her feelings. "Oh, you didn't come here looking for me."

"No, I mean yes. Gorramit woman, you have me so twisted in knots that I don't know what I mean anymore. I've been searching the verse for you, and all this time you've been here with my ma. How the blazing hell was I spose to know to look here?"

"Caroline was right. Men are stupid. The letter when I first realized who you were. I gave you a letter from your mom. It said that we were friends, right?" He nodded, not knowing what else to say. "What's that old saying? Home is where the heart is? I came to your home to wait. Thinking that you would remember and come for me. Guess it was too much, huh?" Buffy looked down at her hands.

"Why didn't you just wait on Beamonde?"

"Me and relationships aren't really mixey things. I decided that this time if I wanted it to work, that you would have to come for me, not the other way around. I want you, Mal. I want a future with you in it. If you don't want that, then I'd rather have you walk away now, than later when it would break me. I'm used to being alone…"

Mal's mouth descended on hers. His arms wrapped around her, letting her know that he had no intention of letting her go. When he pulled away, they were breathing hard. He leaned his forehead onto hers, before he started speaking.

"I've never been one good at speaking bout my emotions, Buffy. Alls I can say is that you're in my blood. I can't eat or sleep, without thinking bout you. Don't know what the future holds, no one does. Alls I know is that when I think bout it, I see you standing there beside me."

"Sounds good enough for me. Think your ma would be upset if we skipped lunch?"

"Na, she'll keep it warm for us. Spect my crew will thank you if'n you'll help the mean, naughty Cap'n relax." He gave her a saucy smile.

"Been a bit gruff, huh?" She pulled him down to the blanket.

He kissed her ear sending shivers down her spine. "Spect that's a word, though Jayne's used a few others if'n I recall."

"Let's see what we can do bout that relaxing then." She nipped his lip between her teeth. Her fingers already working on his shirt buttons.

They lay naked under the mid-afternoon sun, wrapped in each others arms. Buffy rested her head on Mal's arm while he brushed his fingers through her hair.

"What you thinking bout?"

"Wondering what we're going to do next? What kind of work we can do that will satisfy us both," Mal said.

"I have a suggestion, if you want to hear it."

"Spose it won't hurt to listen."

She bit his chest playfully. "The Council gave the okay to go after the remaining Reavers. They'll pay a bounty for any that we kill. They even offered to equip any ships willing to sign up. You could get another shuttle equal to mine with all the fancy gadgets free and clear."

Mal moved in order to look into her face. "That's awful dangerous work, darlin. My crew's life, not to mention yours, would be on the line. Not sure that I'd like that, no matter what kind of bonuses we'd get."

Buffy reached up to caress his face. "You don't understand, Mal. They have to be put down. I have to put them down. River showed me what they live with inside them. The pure hate, anger and pain. No one should have to live like that. I promised her that I'd help them to rest in peace, and I plan to keep that promise. We can do this together; I know we can. They're weak right now. It's the best time to strike."

"I'll think about it and talk it over with the crew. It's the best that I can do. No promises." He kissed her nose.

She snuggled down onto his shoulder. "I can live with that."

Epilogue:

The crew did agree to go after the Reavers. River explained what the Reavers felt, and no one could turn their backs once they knew. The Serenity crew worked together with several other Peacemakers to destroy the Reavers, which took two long years.

At the end of that time, Zoë found out that she was pregnant. She delivered a beautiful, baby girl, which they named Tara, thanks to Buffy. Buffy wasn't sure why the name came to her when she saw the baby. She told the proud parents their daughter would have an internal strength that anyone who knew her would rely on in times of great struggle.

Simon and Kaylee married within the first year they were together. Even though they took every precaution, nine months to the day, Kaylee delivered a squealing baby boy with her ginger hair and Simon's blue eyes. The baby fascinated River, who seemed to know his every need even before he did. After much debate, fighting and crying on Kaylee's part, the new parents decided to name him Daniel. Jayne called him fur ball because his hair stood on end, but whenever no one was around you could find the mercenary making faces at the baby.

Jayne remained the perpetual bachelor and honorary uncle, although no one would ever call him that to his face. The children loved him, regardless of his gruff ways. If a threat came Serenity's way, Jayne was the first person in the nursery.

Buffy and Mal eventually married in a wonderful ceremony on Shadow with friends from across the verse there as witnesses. Shepherd Book performed the ceremony and Wash gave away the bride. Zoë stood up for Mal as his best man, while River made an ethereal maid of honor. Times weren't easy for the two volatile personalities. When they fought, the crew hid in their bunks, even Jayne who normally liked a row. Their tempers cooled as quickly as they heated, allowing everything to go back to normal.

Despairing of ever being able to give Mal a child, Buffy's joy knew no bounds when six years later found her pregnant. The pregnancy was difficult, forcing her to leave Serenity and stay on Shadow with Caroline. After an intense delivery, where her heart stopped beating twice, she delivered a healthy baby boy. Mal never felt so scared and happy in his life. Mother and son quickly recovered from their ordeal and returned to Serenity.

Buffy stood rocking her son, soothing him back to sleep as she stared out into the black.

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, just a nightmare."

"You don't think he's already having dreams like yours do ya?"

"Too soon to tell. Hope not. My sweet William shouldn't have to see the things that I've seen in my dreams. Not for a very long time, if ever." She kissed the baby's blonde curls.

"Sides with Reavers gone there aren't any scary things to dream about right?"

Buffy turned to her husband lying on their bed and gave him a soft smile. "Mal, if I've learned anything it's that there's always something bad to replace whatever bad you've just destroyed. I've a feelin' that we've a while before we'll know what the next Big Bad is though. Our William will have to face it not us. Our job's to see that he knows what to do when the time comes," she said, scooting in the bed, holding the baby as Mal's strong arms wrapped around them.

"Then that means we've lots of years to enjoy before we got to worry bout it. We can just concentrate on loving each other and our boy."

"Sounds like a good plan to me, Cap'n Reynolds."

He kissed first her forehead then the baby's. "You bet ya, Mrs. Reynolds."

Their eyes closed as sleep overtook them, knowing that whatever the future brought they would face it together as a family.

~ The End ~


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Finding My Serenity ~ 6