"Stephanie, you need to go pick up your cousin from the airport. If you leave now, you will miss all the traffic." Mrs. Plum told her youngest daughter.
"Why do I have to pick her up? I don't even know her," Stephanie protested.
"Stephanie Elizabeth Plum, you will go this minute and get Joyce Anne's little girl and bring her here. Her father never allowed Joyce or that precious child to know her family. Now that Joyce is gone, God rest her soul, we are all that little girl has. Now do as I say." She knew when her mother used that tone of voice, there was nothing else to do but give in.
"Can I go, too?" Grandma Mazur asked from the kitchen doorway. There she stood in all her glory, her gunmetal, tightly curled grey hair had developed a blue-tinge. She wore capris in every color of the rainbow and a revealing fuchsia shirt with matching tennis shoes. Her turkey neck showed to optimal effect and her chicken legs popped out of the bottom of the capris. "I like to watch those toga guys dance."
Stephanie rolled her eyes but eventually gave in. So, here she stood holding a stupid sign that said 'Welcome, Elizabeth Summers.' She felt like a total mook. A petite blonde with large hazel eyes and a golden tan approached Stephanie. Great, my day just got better. Now 'Legally Blonde' is coming to ask for directions. Why me? Stephanie sighed.
"Hi, I think you're looking for me," Buffy smiled. She took in the pretty woman a few years older than her with curly brown hair and blue eyes and the little old lady beside her. She tried to hide her smile at the old woman's outfit. "I like your shoes."
Grandma preened, taking an instant liking to the girl who obviously knew about fashion.
Why, the hell, don't I carry a gun? I could shoot myself and put myself out of my misery. Stephanie jumped when she felt one of Grandma's bony elbows dig into her side. "What!"
"Buffy wants to know where to go to pick up her luggage."
"Who is Buffy?" Stephanie looked around for somebody else but didn't see anyone.
"That would be me. No one has called me Elizabeth since I was four. I'm glad that I finally get to meet you. Mom would tell me stories about her family, but Daddy refused to let us visit." Her voice let them know exactly what she thought of that. "I hope you don't mind me just dropping in out of the blue. The town we lived in went under from a quake and some friends relocated to Cleveland. I came with and thought I'd look up Mom's family. It took me a little while, since Grandma is dead, but a close friend discovered that Mrs. Mazur was her sister, and here I am."
Stephanie was used to the fast-talkers of the Burg, but Buffy made them sound like slow motion. Buffy smiled at her and she couldn't help but return it. Something about her little cousin made it impossible not to like her. The big question in Stephanie's mind was where she would sleep. Mom's house was full, Valerie's brood was still nesting in her apartment and she lived with Morelli. Her shoulders slumped as she pulled out her cell phone.
"Hey, Cupcake what's up? Did you pick up your cousin?"
"Would it be okay if she stayed in your guest room while she's here? There isn't anywhere else to put her." Stephanie whispered into the phone.
"Stephanie," Buffy called out. Stephanie waved a hand to shush her a while she tried to think of the right incentive to get Morelli to agree. "Stephanie!" Buffy demanded in a voice that made a person turn and listen. It was the voice of a leader, a commander, and Stephanie obeyed without even realizing she was doing so. "I've sublet an apartment while I'm here. I've had company for several weeks and wanted some space. I just want to get to know your family and relax for a while. Don't promise your boyfriend the moon, save it for when you need it."
Stephanie smiled liking her cousin more every minute. "Never mind Morelli, see you at the house."
They retrieved Buffy's luggage and headed toward her apartment to drop it off. "It is the Astoria Arms. Do you know it?"
Stephanie glanced over at Buffy in the passenger seat then quickly back at the road. "That is high-dollar real estate. Are you rich?"
"Did you win the Lotto?" Grandma Mazur asked from the backseat.
"No, a friend of the family arranged this. He is the one that recently gained control of a large company."
"Is he single? I could go for a rich man putting me up in the lap of luxury." Grandma fluffed her curls causing her turkey neck to swing from side-to-side.
"Uh, I believe he is seeing someone. Anyway, he went back to England. You would probably be too much for him to handle Mrs. Mazur. He can be very tweedy and a bit uptight at times." Buffy caught Stephanie's eye, and they shared a smile. "What does your boyfriend do?"
"Morelli's a cop."
"In school they made us take these test that said I should be in law enforcement. But, eew, polyester and rubber soled shoes. No thanks. What do you do?"
"I'm a bond enforcement officer."
"You ought to take Buffy to work with you Stephanie. I bet she would like it plus no polyester."
"Cool, I mean you don't have to. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with your boss." Grandma snorted from the backseat.
Stephanie glared at her in the rearview mirror. "I wouldn't get in trouble. My boss is a cousin. You wouldn't find it interesting. You just pick people up and take them to the station, so they can reschedule for court." That got a full-blown laugh from grandma.
"I really would like to go along. I'm not sure what I want to do next get a job or go back to college. You would be doing me a favor."
"Fine, we won't have enough time to drop off your luggage and make it to dinner on time. Joe and I will bring you back over after dinner."
Buffy looked at the tiny house and said a silent 'thank you' to Giles. After months with the SITs, she was ready for some solitude and a chance to figure out what she wanted to do. She liked her cousin and thought her grandmother was a hoot.
The front door opened just as they stepped onto the porch. A tall woman with large blue eyes pulled Buffy into her arms. She couldn't help but return the hug. In an odd way, it was like hugging her mom. They didn't look alike except for the eyes, Dawn's eyes. Dawn didn't want to come, she was afraid none of Mom's relatives would know about her. Buffy decided to let her choose where she wanted to go from here to give her what she never had - options. Dawn chose to join Giles and Willow in England rebuilding the Watchers Council.
"Why you are just a tiny thing. Joyce was so tall. Come in dear. Dinner is almost ready. I imagine you are starved those planes never feed you anything decent. We will put a little meat on you while you are here."
Buffy found herself clucked over like a lost chick. She met Mr. Plum, Valerie and her small family, one of whom believed that she was a horse. Stephanie answered the doorbell.
"Okay, Cupcake, I'm reporting for duty, but you owe me wild monkey sex later." Joe nipped her bottom lip and Stephanie granted him the access they both wanted.
Buffy heard their conversation and a soft moan then Grandma Mazur piped up. "Bring that hunk in here Stephanie. I want to sit by him." She almost burst out laughing at the panicked expression on Joe's face.
"Whatever you do, don't make me sit by her," he pleaded.
Dinner had been a boisterous affair with delicious food and lots of laughter. Buffy couldn't remember ever laughing so hard at the dinner table before. She wondered if Stephanie knew how lucky she was to have such a wonderful family. They were unique, quirky, but most of all they loved each other unconditionally. Except for Stephanie's dad, who seemed to want to kill Grandma Mazur.
Stephanie and Joe dropped her off at her apartment. Joe helped her carry her luggage up and placed it inside the door. "Have a goodnight Buffy. It was nice meeting you."
"You too Joe, I'm glad you survived Grandma's smooth moves." Buffy giggled at the look on his face. She closed the door and spent the next hour unpacking but was too wound up to sleep. She saw a park not far from the building and decided to go for a run to try to unwind. Buffy quickly stripped and pulled on exercise clothes after lacing up her tennis shoes she made her way out the front of the building. Giles told her there was a pool and full gym, but she didn't know where they were located.
Buffy took off in a slow jog around the park picking up speed when she got to the back of the park. She circled it several times getting her heart rate up. Hurdling benches to make it more challenging. She was used to chasing monsters every night; she found this too tame. Buffy felt someone coming up behind her as soon as the thought crossed her mind then . They were human, but she didn't know anything else. At the last possible moment, Buffy moved to the side and twisted her upper body back to the right. A large man with a gun tried to grab her. She knocked the gun away with her left hand while her right palm smashed into his nose breaking it. Her body continued to twist around and her foot made a loud thud as it made contact with his head. He was down for the count. The man hit the running path like a ton of bricks.
Buffy heard another set of feet running up the path. She faded back into the shadows to watch and wait. A handsome man dressed in black cargo pants, t-shirt and a baseball hat ran up. He looked at the man on the ground as his eyes swept the area. Buffy saw the light gleam dully off the gun in his hand. She started out liking Trenton now she wasn't so sure. Moving quietly behind the man with the gun, she swept his feet out from under him at the same time her hand lashed down on the hand with the gun.
Ranger found himself face down on the ground and his gun yards away. Whoever was behind him held his leg in a vise-like grip.
"Who are you and why are you out here playing cops and robbers?"
He couldn't believe the soft female voice questioning him. A woman disarmed him. He didn't even hear her. Ranger stopped his inner dialogue when Buffy twisted his leg again. "I'm a Bail Enforcement Agent. The man you knocked out is wanted for failure to appear. He is out on bail for extortion. My ID is in my wallet along with my licence." Ranger felt a small hand slide into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. His body responded to her impersonal touch, which startled him. Ranger felt her let go of his leg and step away.
Seeing him up close, Buffy admitted he was more than handsome, he dripped sex with an air of mystery about him. His hair was dark brown almost black with eyes to match. Buffy took in the mocha latte skin and muscular frame. This man knew how to handle himself in any situation.
Ranger's eyes roamed over her body, taking in golden hair, hazel eyes, high-cheekbones and a mouth that begged to be kissed. A small toned body with beautiful sun-kissed skin stood in front of him. He turned when he heard a moan behind him. Manny Montoya began to wake up. Ranger looked back and cursed under his breath, she was gone. He pulled a pair of handcuffs out of a pocket and went to retrieve his FTA.
"I don't even know her name." One thing for sure, she's not from around here.
Buffy walked into Plum Bail Bonds not knowing what to expect, but it definitely wasn't this. A woman with dark hair teased to death and breasts that rivaled Dolly Parton sat behind a desk filing inch long nails. A black woman weighing close to 250 lbs., wearing a day-glo orange spandex skirt and matching black and orange striped shirt stood before a filing cabinet. The matching beads in her hair clacked together as she talked animatedly to the Dolly double. Stephanie carried two boxes of donuts and Buffy had a bag with four coffees.
"Hey girl, who's the little white chick following you? Is she here to see Vinnie? Ooh, are those Dunkin Donuts? Did you get crullers?" Lula moved quickly for a woman her size, snatching the boxes from Stephanie's hands.
"I thought you were on a diet?" She watched her friend rifle through the assortment of glazed goodies.
"I am. There is this new one my friend Zwanda lost thirty pounds on. You eat whatever you want for breakfast and lunch then just a salad for dinner." Lula snagged three donuts on different fingers. "You didn't bring any coffee."
"I have the coffee." Buffy held the bag up for Lula to see.
"Who are you?" Lula was a former prostitute who didn't trust people easily.
"This is my second cousin Buffy. She is visiting from California. This is Lula and Connie." Stephanie pointed out each woman respectively.
After learning Buffy was related to Stephanie, the other two women accepted her. They talked for about thirty minutes, grilling Buffy on life in California.
Buffy went quiet and still. "I'm not sure what the rules are here but where I come from it's rude to listen in on other people's conversations." She threw over her shoulder not bothering to turn around.
Stephanie, Connie and Lula looked at her then out into the office and there stood Ranger, lounging against the doorframe. All three women's eyes went dreamy for a moment then widened when they took in Buffy's words.
"Shit girl, how did you know Batman was back there?" Lula looked at the little blonde with new respect.
"I have good hearing." She kept her back to Ranger looking at Lula while she answered. She felt him move into the room, sidestepping as soon as he was directly behind her. Buffy watched Lula's eyes widen more and hoped Lula wouldn't pop a vein. "Like I said, good hearing." Buffy moved further around the desk just as the inner office door opened and a small ferret like man stuck his head out.
"Ranger, are you ready?"
He walked by Buffy, but stopped to look her straight in the eye. "Is the staring a Trenton thing or just you?"
He leaned close to her ear. "Neither one, gorgeous- it's you." With that, he walked into the office, closing the door behind him.
"Damn girl, how did you already meet Batman? Why is he so interested in you? I thought he was still hot for Steph...oomph. Why'd you do that?" Lula rubbed her stomach where Stephanie jabbed her.
"I ran into him last night when I went for a run in the park. Some guy ran up behind me with a gun, so I knocked him out. Then Rambo showed up with a gun so I decided to make him answer some questions this time."
"You got Ranger to answer questions?" Stephanie asked incredulously. "How?"
"Didn't give him much choice. He was face down in a leg lock."
Before Buffy could explain more, Connie's intercom range. She picked up the phone. "Yeah, she's Stephanie's cousin. Buffy. Hold on a minute. Stephanie what is Buffy's last name?"
"Summers, why?"
Connie ignored her and returned to the phone conversation. "Summers. Okay. Fine." Connie hung up then looked at Stephanie. "He wants you in there for a minute." She turned back and started working on her nails again.
"I'll be right back, Buffy. Lula will keep you company."
Lula inched closer to Buffy eyeing her up and down as if trying to find something. Not five minutes later Stephanie stuck her head out the door.
"Buffy, would you come in here a minute, please."
She shrugged her shoulders and walked into the office. Ranger moved out of his chair to lean against the wall, but Buffy just stood by the door. "What do you need?" She didn't like the way they were all looking at her, especially the little ferret guy behind the desk.
"Did you knock out Manny Montoya last night?"
"Who? Oh, you mean the guy with the gun. Yeah, I already told you that. Why?"
"Vinnie didn't believe Ranger when he told him what happened. Who ever catches the FTA gets a percentage of the bond. Manny's bond was over a million dollars."
"What does that have to do with me? I just knocked him out."
"You get part of the bounty, gorgeous." Ranger said from his place across the room. His eyes hadn't left her face since she walked through the door. What was it about her? It can't be the connection to Stephanie, I didn't even know until now. Ranger didn't even notice that he thought of Stephanie as 'Stephanie' not 'Babe'.
"How much money are we talking about?" Buffy asked, thoughts of her Doublemeat Palace days still gave her nightmares.
"You split the bounty with Ranger, $10,000 each. Would you like a job?" Vinnie eyed her up and down, trying keep from being caught by Ranger.
"I'll have to think about it. I'm just visiting family right now. If I decide to stay, I'll let you know." Vinnie nodded and gave her breasts one more quick glance.
Stephanie couldn't help but notice the smoldering looks Ranger kept throwing Buffy's way. She knew she made the right decision to make a go of it with Morelli. Ranger was gorgeous, mysterious and dangerous. Hell, he was Batman, but you don't marry Batman. You marry Superman. Stephanie wondered how Buffy would fit into the whole picture. She always saw herself as Wonder Woman- does that mean Buffy is Catwoman, Electra, She-Ra, who?
"Stephanie," Buffy called out causing her cousin to jump.
"Sorry, Buffy must not have had enough coffee."
"That's okay. Connie says there is only one guy to pick up -a low rater. Whatever that is. Here is the file. Lula wanted to know if she could come with us."
"Come on Lula. We'll take Buffy to Peno's and show her what real pizza is when we are through."
The large black woman pulled a huge purse out of the filing cabinet and followed them out the door.
After setting up a new account for Buffy at her bank, Stephanie stopped her latest vehicle a Ford Taurus a few houses down from the address they were looking for. She was after one Vincezo Scarpoochie for a battery charge. At a baseball game, Scarpoochie beat up the high school mascot. She turned in her seat to look at Buffy in the back seat.
"This should be pretty easy. He has never been in trouble before and probably just forgot. Just in case he decides to run, you cover the back, Lula." Stephanie pulled out her pepper spray, a pair of handcuffs, but put the tazer back in the glove compartment. She didn't think it even had a charge.
Lula dug through her suitcase-sized purse pulling out a large gun. "I have you covered."
"No, no guns. He beat up a guy dressed like a pig."
Lula grudgingly put her gun away and Buffy sighed. They climbed out of the car and moved towards the house. Lula argues with Stephanie that bounty hunters should carry guns. Stephanie just pointed to the back of the house.
"I like your friends, Stephanie." Buffy smiled watching Lula waddle to the back of the house. Her arms still waiving in the air as she talked to herself about real bounty hunters.
"They are different. I bet you are used to normal people in California."
"I wouldn't go that far. You could say that I'm used to the unusual."
They stepped onto the porch and Stephanie rang the doorbell then knocked on the door. "Mr. Scarpoochie, I'm Stephanie Plum. You missed your court date, and I'm here to take you down to reschedule."
The last word left her mouth at the same time Buffy heard a gun cock. Flashes of being shot, Tara dying and Willow going over the edge ran through her mind. She dove at Stephanie knocking her down. At the same time, a huge blast blew a hole through the door in the exact place Stephanie's head had been moments before.
Buffy burst through the door with green fire in her eyes. A heavyset man stood trying to reload a shotgun. He saw her dropping his weapon, he took off for the backdoor. Scarpoochie knocked over ever piece of furniture he could to try to get away. Lula peaked in the backdoor just as Scarpoochie flew out knocking her on her butt. Buffy used the back porch as a springboard and shot herself at him knocking him to the ground. They rolled, and she pulled her legs up under her to push him up and off her. Her anger at Stephanie's near miss still raged, so she put more power than she should have in her kick. He landed against the neighbor's house landing in the rose bushes.
Jumping to her feet before he could get away, she growled causing Lula's eyes to go wide and white. "Go check on Stephanie."
Lula happily moved away from Buffy. "That little white girl is plum scary." Lula made it around the edge of the house to find Stephanie sitting on the steps.
Three police cars pulled up at the same time. Stephanie quit pulling splinters out of her hair to put her face in her hands. Lula wanted to go back around the house but frankly, Buffy scared her more than the police did right now.
Eddie Gazarra and Carl Costanza walked up with twin grins. "Thanks Steph. I just won twenty bucks. Told them it would be you. The neighbor called it in. She thought someone was bombing her house."
Morelli's SUV pulled up at the same time Ranger's did. Both men nodded at each other then Joe moved towards Stephanie. Surprise showed on his face when Ranger didn't follow.
"Cupcake, you okay?" He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.
Stephanie started to answer him then realized someone was missing. "Lula where is Buffy?" Panic made her voice sound high-pitched even to her own ears.
"She is taking care of Scarpoochie. That is one tough white chick." Lula shook her head causing the orange and black beads to clatter together.
"You mean you left her alone. He had a gun." She started to get up when they heard crying. Everyone took off at a sprint for the back yard. Stephanie was behind Joe who already had his gun out. She ran into his back when he stopped short. "Joe what are you doing? Buffy is in trouble."
"I don't think so cupcake, look." He pointed to the neighbors yard where Buffy had Scarpoochie's arm pulled up behind him. Every once in a while, she would twist it, then she would say something to him. They watched him nod his head. Ranger approached then stopped when Buffy turned to glare at him. That caused even more raised eyebrows.
"I told you she was scary. Are you sure you are related, Stephanie? She is like Catwoman or something. She flew out the backdoor knocked Scarpoochie down then threw him into the neighbors rosebushes."
Buffy moved her prisoner towards the growing crowd. She admitted to herself that she had fun today, well other than Stephanie being shot at. She stopped in front of her cousin looking her over for any sign of injury.
"The Pooch has something to say."
Morelli tried not to laugh at the sight of the 100 pounds of nothing Buffy pushing around a man easily more than twice her size.
"I'm real sorry for shooting at you. I shouldn't have done it."
Buffy twisted his arm, "And." She growled causing the cops to straighten. They knew that tone of voice. This little girl was the real deal and they looked at her with new respect.
Scarpoochie turned to Lula. "I'm sorry I knocked you over. Can I go to the police station now, please?" He pleaded with the policemen to rescue him.
Ranger walked up to join the crowd as Buffy handed over her prisoner to Gazarra and Costanza. They quickly handed him over to the new rookie. A baby-faced boy named Thomas Stillson.
"Damn girl, where did you learn how to fight like that?" Lula asked, but everyone wanted to know the answer.
"I've been taking martial arts for a long time."
The rookie snorted. "What's a long time? You can't be more than 19 or 20."
Buffy leveled him with a cold glare, and he coughed to hide his embarrassment. "I'm 24 not that it's any of your business. Steph, I remember something about lunch and I'm starving if you're up to it. Can we go now?" She turned and walked back to the car.
Stephanie gave her friends a glare of her own. "She is my cousin and her visiting my family. You all better treat her nice or I will sick Grandma Mazur on you." She turned with a satisfied smile that every man even Ranger paled. Grandma was good for more than just driving her father crazy and senior citizen discount tickets to the movies.
Lula hurried to catch up not wanting to be left behind. She guessed Buffy wasn't so scary. She made that mook apologize for knocking her over. No one ever did that for her before.
Buffy asked Stephanie to stop by her apartment so she could clean up before they went for lunch. Riding up in the elevator, Lula kept glancing at Buffy then quickly away.
"Are you okay, Lula? You didn't get hurt, did you?"
Buffy's concern caught Lula off guard. She wasn't sure what to think about this little white girl. "No, I'm okay. Wasn't the first time I've been knocked on my butt, probably won't be the last." She smiled slightly at first until Buffy gave her a bright smile. Lula gave her a mega-watt one in return. Her white teeth gleamed in the low lighting of the elevator.
Buffy opened the door to her apartment and waved Stephanie and Lula through. Stephanie didn't get a chance to look around last night. Lula gaped at the luxurious apartment. She fought the urge to pull off her shoes and sink her toes into the carpet. She was just afraid that she wouldn't be able to get them back on again.
"There are drinks in the fridge. My friend had the manager stock the kitchen, so help yourself. I'll only be a minute." Buffy moved off towards a door opposite the foyer.
They assumed she went into the bedroom. Stephanie looked at Lula. "My whole apartment would fit in this living room." She pointed to the large open area with cream colored carpet and a green leather sectional. A fireplace stood in one corner and a huge plasma screen TV hung on the wall. To the left of the living room, they could see a dining area with a solid wood table and chairs for eight.
"Let's check out the kitchen. All that fighting made me hungry." Lula rubbed her stomach.
They raced each other to the kitchen and stopped short. It was large with black appliances and a breakfast area surrounded by windows. What got their attention though was the largest refrigerator they had ever seen. The freezer side was as large as the refrigerator. They moved slowly now almost as if they were in a trance.
Stephanie's hand shook as she pulled open the door. Both women sighed, they were looking at nirvana. Every snack you could want lay before them not to mention drinks. There were Dr. Peppers, Cokes, Yoo-hoos, beers, candy bars, all types of cheese, fruit (which they maintained they would eat at some point if they got hungry, but actually would never touch), the list went on and on.
They pulled open the freezer door together and squealed. There was every flavor of Ben and Jerry's worth tasting - Phish Food, Cherries Jubilee, Fudgesicles, pizzas, chicken nuggets, and corn dogs; again, the bounty seemed endless.
Lula eyed a large door and her curiosity won out. She stepped away from the frozen wonderland and turned the knob. "Steph," Lula whispered, "come here, hurry."
They urgency in her friends voice caused Stephanie to reluctantly close the freezer. She walked over to see what was wrong and gasped.
"Oh, my gosh. I can't believe this. I have to call Joe. No, he won't believe me; he'd have to see it but how. I can't just invite him over."
"Pretty cool, huh."
Both women jumped, bumping into each other and landing on the floor in a tangle of limbs. There stood Buffy in low-rise black pants, black 3-inch platforms and a red and black print sheer shirt with a red spaghetti strap tank underneath. Her toned tummy and bellybutton peaked out.
"Isn't that the greatest pantry you've ever seen?" She smiled at them. "My friend left me a note." Buffy picked a piece of paper off the kitchen island. "Here it is. Listen to this."
Buffy,
I took the liberty of having the manager stock your kitchen with all the
horrible food that you love. My only hope is that your family will
provide you with a few nutritional meals. The number for a grocer that
delivers as well as any others you might have need of is enclosed. Take
care, dear girl. I hope to hear from you soon.
Love Giles
"Isn't he the greatest? Have you ever seen so much sugar and salty goodness in one place in all your life?"
"Stephanie, she's definitely related to you. That pantry is the bomb. It looks like your own little Stop 'N Shop without all the unnecessary stuff like dog food. Who's this Giles dude, an old boyfriend? He sounds kinda snotty."
"No, he's a friend of the family, sort of like a guardian. Are you guys ready to go? I'm starving."